Friday, December 31, 2010

Black Bean Brownies

Wish I had a picture to post... ate these all up!


Ingredients:
  • 15oz can of black beans
  • Brownie Mix (Any kind will do, but if you can find the No Pudge mix it's low fat)

Directions:

  • Open can of beans
  • Rinse, drain
  • Put beans back in can
  • Add enough water in can to just cover beans
  • Put in blender or food processor and puree
  • Add puree to brownie mix
  • Bake according to brownie mix instructions
  • No need to add oil or eggs, just the beans!

Personal Note:

I couldn't taste the beans at all in this recipe. I did think they were a little stickier than normal brownies, but knowing I was getting the good stuff from black beans while getting my chocolate fix made it worth it. I made mine in a muffin pan, and filled them nearly all the way to the top. They came out great!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Not Just One...

Why just make one New Year's Resoultion when I can try for a handful?

Maybe If I do that, there will be hope, right?

Alright... Here goes:

1) Floss Daily.
I think this makes it on the list yearly.

2) Get Married.
I mean, come on. If nothing else, this will be the one. (Maybe I secretly put this it would work out that way.)

3) Have Thicker Skin at Work.
People suck sometimes. But I have to remember it's because of their own issues and not just me.
4) Stop spending useless cash, when I can be SAVING IT.
There's a concept.

5) Get back on track, and stick to my new healthy-eating, healthy-living lifestyle.
The holidays sucked. Why stop eating once I'm full, when there's food everywhere!? Ugh. My pants were working hard during the holidays.

6) Be better at keeping in touch with friends.
Too many old friends are falling through the cracks. I guess it's just life. People change, surroundings change. But at least I can try.

7) Start thinking about the future.
There's a fine line between living for today, and planning for tomorrow. I need to learn how to do both... equally.

I'm excited about 2011.

I'm getting married...
Then a month later I turn 30...
At least two of my friends are having babies...
So much is happening!

I welcome this wonderful year, and my next decade of life.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Flicks For Me

I adore holiday movies. Ahhh-DORE.

And I make it a personal goal to get them all in before the Christmas gets here.

I started watching in November, but there's a few I didn't get to this year... although you wouldn't know it by this list.

While decorating the tree in very late November, we watched A Christmas Carol (The new animated one, with Jim Carrey) It was quite good.

I also got in...

Elf. Of course I had to watch this one at least three times.

I TiVo'd It's a Wonderful Life during it's annual run on NBC. I watched it at least two-and-a half times. I grew up watching black and white movies courtesy of Mom, and still Netflix them to this day. There's a slew of them I still need to see that are considered classics. I recently watched Shop Around the Corner, which is the inspiration for one of my favorite movies You've Got Mail.

AMC alternated White Christmas and the orginal Miracle on 34th Street on Christmas Eve. So as we put the last minute touches on the tables, and set the cookies out on the platters and cleaned like crazy people, we watched these two classics.

The weekend after Thanksgiving, while helping mom decorate her tree, we watched How the Grinch Stold Christmas. The movie. I also TiVo'd the original on TV.

Other little Christmas specials I recorded on TV and am not ashamed to admit I did:

Disney's Prep and Landing
Charlie Brown Christmas
Shrek the Halls
Frosty the Snowman
A Year Without Christmas (I haven't seen this one before this year, but was always told I needed to watch it.)
Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer

I know, I need a kid.

I'd better not forget A Christmas Story. I look foward to this TBS marathon almost as much as Christmas itself. I've never actually wanted to purchase this move, because I fear it would take away from the 8pm time period that I get excited for every December the 24th.

I of course bought Fred Claus when it came out. Love it.

Not sure if Love Actually is considered a Christmas flick, but I watch it only this time of year. And did this year, twice.

I actually purchased National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation this year because I was scared I'd miss it on TV. It barely made it here before Christmas, which gave me anxiety. But we watched it. Phew...

Christmas Day, AMC marathoned Scrooged. I think I was too full and distracted to watch the whole thing... but got enough in.

I didn't get to see Polar Express this year, and was sad about it. Our local cultural theater was showing it for cheap, but Jimmy says it's depressing and I couldn't get him to go. I secretly think he stopped believing at an early age... maybe it hits a little too close to home.

I also wanted to watch Family Stone, which is Christmas-esque. Maybe I'll watch that as I get ready for New Years fun, to squeeze it in.

It was a good Christmas movie year.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Serious Lack

I'm noticing a serious lack of Christmas spirit this year, and it's depressing the hell out of me.


I've gotten a fraction of the Christmas cards I usually do. Where's the papery-love?

I understand that times are tough for a lot of people, and Christmas cards and mass postage could be where they're chosing to cut back. But, usually Christmas is that time of year when you hear from those folks in hard print -- you don't normally hear from any other time.


There are less well-wishes and happy new year notes from the higher ups at work, which makes work feel like... well, work at Christmastime. And who wants that? I'd prefer a slightly merrier atmosphere for a few days out of the year.


I gave someone a gift today who seemed... not excited to get a gift. It was pushed to the side and not opened. I don't give gifts to gain brownie points, but I live for those reactions.


My vacation starts today, and I'm hoping my 3.5 hour long ride home with Christmas music will help pump that holiday adrenaline through my veins.


When I walk into the front door of Mom and Dad's house and see TWO Christmas trees with presents spilling from beneath... I'm guessing THEN I will fill the Christmas spirit.

Mom's little holiday figurines and Dad's Griswold-ish outdoor lights should ignite that flame.


When Dad puts on the Santa hat to pass out presents... then I'll feel the Christmas present.


When the family gathers for a supremely-fattening Italian Christmas Eve dinner... I'll certainly be feeling the spirit. So will my pants... as they slowly tighten.

It's just right now... right this very moment... I don't feel it.

I'm officially off the clock at work, and so the journey home for the holidays begins.

Santa, get here quick!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Here Comes the Bride

Soon.

As in six months TO THE DAY, soon.

What an exciting feeling. There's still a lot that needs to be done, but I'm ready. I'm so ready for it to just be here.

I can't believe I originally set out to get married in 2012. I'd be going nuts!

There is still a lot more money to be saved, decisions to be made, and cake to be tasted.

Is six months a lot? It doesn't feel like it. I guess to some it's a half of a year. To me... a very quick 180 days. Everyone keeps telling me it's going to fly by.

It actually already has, so far.

So mixed feelings: Nauseau... panic... anxiety.
With eagerness... happiness... and excitment.

My stomach and brain is a mixed bag of emotions.

I could puke or laugh at any given moment.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Oldie But A Goodie


Just LOOK at the layers of hair.
So cute.
Makes me smile.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Harry and Sally


Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Lull

Over the last month, I've pretty much stopped the wedding planning.

Halted.

I mean just stopped. Screw it! I have life to tend to. Work. Weight loss goals... etc, etc, etc!

Then I realized we're closing in on the SIX month mark. Holy shit balls.

And the other day, I got another BRIDES magazine in the mail... flipped it open... and have been on a non-stop bridal monster rampage ever since. I can't get enough. The magazine was delivered just as I was forgetting about... dare I say... my wedding. Gasp!

I've probably looked at 30 different Save The Dates styles... of course have my heart set on thee most expensive out of all the ones I've looked at.

1o different types of honeymoons... Maybe on our 10-year anniversary we can go to Ireland or cruise to Alaksa, or chill in Napa Valley.

Cakes.. oh the Cakes. Seriously. I want a bride & groom bobblehead as a cake topper. I know it sounds seriously tacky and cheeseball, but it's a really cool concept that is adorable. It's $189. Calm down, I know where my priorities lie.

Flowers galore. Man. Purple flowers are so pretty, and match NOTHING in my wedding.

Centerpieces. I do not want ugly 80's looking mirror things on my tables. But I haven't found the perfect... anything yet.

My mind is RACING. I'm obessing over things. But in a good way. And I am counting down the days until my dress comes in. It's gotta be soon. Ohhhhhhhh the dress. I see it in magazines all the time and I love it. But what if I don't like it? I mean when I try it on again. I'm not being irrational... that's a real bride fear. A legitamate one.

And I want to play with make-up and hair... I want to try on red lipstick!

Oh it's just gonna come so soon.

And After the New Year, I have a feeling it will fly by.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Whole

The challenge is not to be perfect, but to be whole.

~Jane Fonda

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Weight Loss Parallels

My great weight-loss journey has begun. I'm nearly 10-pounds down, and I'm still going strong.

It's very, VERY tough, but being able to look forward to pizza once a week, makes it worth it. GAH -- Pizza. I just love, love, love it!

Sure a lot of this has to do with getting to the gown, but I need more energy to be able to deal work, and wedding planning. OMG. We're like eight months out. HOLY SHIT.

While I work on me, Mom is also working on she.

She's nearly 40 pounds down and looks like a different person. One day... with her some 9 back surgeries, several neck surgeries, Diabetes, Multiple Sclerosis... she got on a bike, and never looked back.

The crazy woman rides like four miles a day on a bike!

The pounds are melting off. There's no doubt she'll be asking to borrow my clothes soon. She's on a mission and it's kind of inspiring.

I can't let mom be skinnier than me, but she's certainly gonna try.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Wedding Planning Update

Okay eight months until the "I do's."

Time for a progress check!

We've got:

The location
My dress
The bridesmaid dresses/shoes picked out
The photographer
The DJ

Okay well in my head it seemed like a lot done.

The list keeps growing. Ah, will I ever get it done?

Here's some thoughts that are swimming through my head about other stuff:

I think I decided to do a candy table as favors. Candy can be so PRETTY. And it's a good way to display some of my key wedding colors. And who doesn't love candy?

Something came up, and one of my bridesmaids won't be able to be in the wedding. So sweet Jimmy suggested to have the wedding videoed so she could feel like she's there. We decided against that at the get go to save cash, but he thinks we can get a deal.

We pretty much decided what wedding ring we'll be getting Jimmy. Thank you Brides magazine.

I'm going back and forth on centerpieces -- Floral, funky or fruit? Candles, mirrors or vases? We'll see how that one ends up.

I think I picked out the invites, but haven't nailed them down yet.

I lost 6.6 pounds! My wedding weight-loss journey continues, though.

There are some little projects that I want to knock out -- a ribbon wreath, and a some hanging paper balls. (Etsy is selling them for like $600. I'm determined to do them myself.)

Hair up for wedding with flower, hair down with flower for trash the dress session the day after?

Okay... I think that's it for now.

Overwhelming feelins setting in...

Monday, October 11, 2010

Control

You can't control what others do.

The advice given to me by someone who spent a lot of money on therapy. That second-hand knowledge continues to help me tremendously.

People make their own paths, and while sometimes I think we're all hopping and skipping along the SAME path... someone makes a hard left, and POOF! They're gone.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out.

But, life goes on whether I get angry, sad, mad or blue.

So repeat as needed... You can't control what others do.

Ah, life.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


These are too good not to share.
These shoes are what my bridesmaids -- all 11 of them -- will wear.
Love , love, love them!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Practicing for Wifehood

Since I don't know what a first down is... this is me trying to be a good fiance.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Look What Came in the Mail...


They're napkins!
Now we HAVE to get married.
No turning back now....

Saturday, September 4, 2010

For the Record...

Only 280 days until I get married.
Ohhh the Excitement.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Text From A Friend

This is a text I got from a dear friend, who suffered a great loss. Her step-father died after a long battle with Cancer.

This text made me glad to be her friend and I want to keep it forever.

"Just came to Moe's for a change of scenery. A little nervous about tonight.... just getting upset seeing old friends and such. But I can't wait to sit around with all of you when we are 58-years-old and feeling so safe to be able to talk about anything, and everything and everyone sleeping in the same house at good times and bad. Xo."
~Amy Benton Kuenzel
August 20, 2010
2:45pm

Suffering a Loss

A few weekends ago, I attended a funeral for Rod Shealy.

He was the step-dad of a very close friend whom I met in college, and remain very good friends with. Rod was that guy you loved to sit around with. He would don a hawaiian shirt, no matter the occasion. He'd have a cigar close by... a "brown liquor drink" and usually his guitar.

He liked a good time, and yes, after-hours Pancake/Waffle joints.

He taught us how to play roulette on his genuine eBay-purchased board. He mastered the art of saying "No More Bets" as the wheel would spin it's final rounds.

It wasn't until after college, when I realized that he was much more influential, than I could ever know. When I entered the world of TV news, I realized Rod was quite the politician. But even more than that -- a pretty bad-ass writer that I could look up to. He had a way with words, hence how good he was in politics.

His funeral was more emotionally draining than I could ever imagine. I had quite the back-stock of saline saved up.

Hearing his son talk about growing up with a dad like Rod was pretty amazing. I can't even imagine being able to face those people and actually tell funny stories about your parent that has passed.
I'm glad I went. It gave me the perfect opportunity to reflect on how Rod changed my life. And of course I wanted to be there for a very dear friend who lost a father, and her mother, who lost someone who WAS her life for so very long.
In that same day I got to spent a short amount of time with a friend's child who was days away from turning one.
Saying goodbye to a male figure I grew to love, and wishing a first Happy Birthday to another male who I have already grown to love.
Full circle.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Opinions

I read on a wedding website that you should not talk about your wedding. You will get unsolicited opinions that will crush you.

That was the best piece of advice I've been given thus far.

People have made it abundantly clear when they don't like a color, location, dress, flower, centerpiece that I'm a excited about.

I even had someone look at my ring and say: "Um, well you can always go bigger for an anniversary."

Didn't know people said that out loud.

I happen to like my ring the way it is. It's a very special piece of jewelry that I will forever treasure.

If you know anything about me, it's the fact that I love getting things passed down that were once used in my family. The same goes for Jimmy's family. This ring on my finger has been around from Eisenhower to Obama.

I dare you to go bigger than that.

Don't get me wrong. I like getting advice from people close to me, or whom people's wedding judgement I value.

But when I tell them the colors... and I get a... "No, you should really incorporate some of this in."
Really.

Or when a close (very religious) family member asks me if I'm getting married in a church. Gulp. I knew this question was coming.

I give her my "It's not who we are as a couple," speech. And the "I don't want to lie to the church, and ourselves, and say were active Christians, when we're not, just to get married in a church" speech. It's really not the honest way of doing things, I believe. That's not to say that I won't continue going to church every now and then, and that I won't take my children to church.

It's seconds later, I'm called a heathen, and am told our children will be bastards.

There's the spirit.

Nothing like a bitter Betty to dampen the engagement bliss.

That's one of the harsher comments I've gotten.

Unfortunately for me, it was from someone who I've always looked up to.

I imagine this blog will deter anyone from ever giving me any opinions -- EVER -- again for my wedding.

My bridesmaids usually are the only ones who read this, so, if you do -- I vaule your opinion, judgement, and views.

You wouldn't be in my wedding, if I didn't.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Confession


This wrapper used to have dark chocolate with almonds it in.
I found it half-eaten.. no... three-quarters of the way eaten in an old purse buried in my closet today.
As you can tell, there's now NO chocolate in the wrapper shown above.
YES, my name is Jaimie...
And I'm a chocoholic.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Big Blue Box


Omg.
I got the big blue box.
Friends surprised me with this gem during dinner one day as an engagment gift.
Inside: Two champagne flutes.
NEVER thought I'd see this shade of blue in real life.
It's much more amazing up close.
It was a very special day.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Boy I'm Gonna Marry...


It's been a whirlwind of a week.

On Sunday, June 27th, James Moore proclaimed that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me in front of my closest friends in the world.

Of course I said.. Okay!

It wasn't surprising when it happened. His behavoir was kind of suspicious. He used every second I wasn't around to whisper to my friends about the plan... and then I found him acting really weird around a fake plant.

Just saying.

Looking back, the moments leading up to the proposal, the poor guy was doing a lot of sweating.. and hard-liquor drinking. He had his heads in his hands at dinner, and was apparently rocking back and forth.

I would have noticed had I not been pouding pomegrante vodka. But, hey, we were on vacation.
Actually, I think my reaction to the proposal itself would've been more raw, genuine - sans liquor.

I think I said something like... "Really? this is really happening NOW?"

Not that I didn't want it to happen "now" -- but was shocked that he was pronouncing his love during a game the group was playing while sitting around the living room of our beach house.
Ours was a Catch Phrase Engagement.

The moment was classic. Jimmy was the one tearing up, while I was seriously trying to not to laugh at him. He had tears, I had sarcasm. Not a shocker.

It was the moment when I was handed my first issue of Brides magazine with a hot pink cover when I started to tear up. But shhhh.. don't tell my Groom-to-be that.

I will say, he pulled out quite the box in which the ring was held. The ring (which is gorgeous, vintage-looking and meaningful) has been passed down, so the originial box was too old for presentation purposes.

He had one made with my new initials. He did a really good job.
So now it begins. The planning, dieting and saving. But whenever I think about the fact that I'm engaged -- a wave of joy takes me over. I no longer have to introduce JM as my boyfriend. It's fiance. And will be for a few years.
I need time.
But, I was engaged a week and one day before I went and tried on dresses.
It's very odd to be the one in the white. My life has been spent following trains making sure their straight, holding bouquets, and OOhhhing and AAAahing the bride. (Ever seen 27 dresses?)
So, it's really MY turn? SHUT up.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Life of Unwanted Chocolate



This should be a crime.
I mean, not a felony, but certainly a misdemeanor.
And is that a Reese's wrapper underneath?
This is just hard to look at.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Conan Effect


It was a pretty cool thing to see Conan O'Brien live in Atlanta.
I remember watching him late at night in high school, laughing my ASS off, while my parents would scream from the other room, "What the hell are you watching?" They wanted to know so they could watch and laugh, too.

It didn't hit me until I watched the 60 Minutes interview he did.. I realized just how human and normal he really was. Yea, he's in show business, and yea he's on TV, but he really got crushed during the "late night fiasco" -- and it was tough to see someone always so positive, and upbeat - talk about being bruised and battered by the whole thing. I'm pretty sure I cried.

He had moved his family, moved his whole life across the nation for the thing he worked, perhaps his entire adult life for.

I admire how genuine he is. Seeing him live really hit that home.

He's someone that people have paid millions of dollars to see - and yet he remains so grounded.

He's seemed so thankful to have so many people come out to see him be silly. He honstly seemed humbled.

Of course, I had to sit next to the guy who screamed something random when it got quiet, so he'd be noticed by the folks on stage.

Yeah, that guy. He was damn sweaty, too.

I so adored the Conan-isms, of course: The string dance, the Walker Texas Ranger bit, the "Huhhhhhhhhhh?!?!, the stare face, the self-depricating humor, the goofy-big-red hair... but it was the five minutes when he got serious, that made me an even bigger fan.

I was happy to spend a good portion of my tax refund on him. I wouldn't do that for just anyone.

So, the next page in the Conan chapter turns. I cannot wait to watch the first night of his new show.

I'm sure I'll get chills when his name is announced (probably by Andy) for the first time on TBS, and he makes his Conan-like-entrance.

Isn't it amazing just how attached we get to celebrities?

Although, I hate to put Conan in that catagory. Because there are celebrities, and then there's Conan.

What a fun guy to work for, I bet. That'd be the gig.

Man.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Barf!

I was listening to one of my favorite Cosmo radio shows on the way home tonight, and people were calling in to talk about their fears.

Some of the funnier calls: round haystacks, manholes, animatronics, putting their hand inside of a bread bag, sasquatch, sleeping bags, things with more than four legs and less than two (?), crickets, and finally... vomiting!

I think that's my fear! I realized tonight that I haven't puked in the entire time I've dated JM. What? That's three and a half years, people!

And why is that? I live my life to avoid BARFING. I hate hate hate it. I used to cry everytime I puked.

Tonight I was not feeling well at work. At all. I was battling a three day long migraine, and it turned into nauseau.. and whatever else..

When I thought I might puke.. I got real scared. I started to get the pre-puke sweats and.. oh my God, this might actually happen.

Swallow... burp.. drink water.. eat saltine. Okay, maybe I can hold it back.

I did.

Thank you sweet Lord. But omg.. that was close.

Fear of vomiting. Yep.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Scheduling Conflict

Since JM and I moved here, we've both had the same days off, Monday and Tuesday.

I don't take for granted how lucky we were to both land jobs in the same business, in the same market, at the same time. Not to mention - having the same days off. We have people (in the business) tell us how lucky we are all the time. We were very lucky.

But soon, those days of hand-holding downtown strolling may be nearing an end.

JM has taken a M-F schedule for the summer months, and I am still on my W-Su shift. This would be fine in about three months when our schedules would once again realign, however, now possible news of a shift change for me! (Nothing concrete, yet)

This whole time I've been working weekends, I have felt as if I were missing out. Family events, festivals, things happening on the WEEKEND.

When I took the job, It was the first time in six years I've had to go to work on a Saturday or Sunday. The first time in six months I don't look forward to Friday as everyone else does.

My TGIF comes on a Sunday night.

But, now as having weekends off becomes a semi-reality in the future, I'm actually not looking forward to it.

What am I gonna do all by myself?

What's the point of having a boyfriend if you can't have days off together?

Okay, that's a bit extreme, but STILL.

Jimmy's logical explaination: That's what you get new jobs for, to work your way up. So maybe since he's also the low man on the totem pole, he'll work his ways up as well?

A reason the news business can suck: scheduling.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Dorito Pie

Jimmy got this recipe from someone at work. I mean, look at it. It's a disgusting mixture of
Doritos, cream of mushroom soup, cheese, chicken, and I think rotel.

And yet, I didn't hate it.

Dorito Pie? What kind of fat-filled southern culture do we live in where Dorito Pie is an actual recipe that you exchange with co-workers?

Clearly, it was a hit in the Reda/Moore household. The proof is in the pudding. Although my stomach now feels like pudding.. and my thighs.. and my behind..

Oh Dorito Pie, you are grossly munchable.



Wednesday, May 26, 2010

It's Nice to Meet You, Grumpy.

The latest addition to my wine glass collection.

Friday, May 21, 2010

My World Just Shook A Little

Today, within an hour, I learned that two married couples we know, are splitting up.

One couple, married 10 years with 3 kids.

The other couple didn't get to celebrate their first wedding anniversary.

Jimmy and I attended this wedding. We saw them exchange their vows. We danced with their family and ate their Italian (magnificent) themed dinner. We took shots of Sambuka from the ice luge they picked out together. We STILL have a miniature bottle of Tabasco served with some seafood appetizers. I wanted to keep it, instead of eat it. It sits on our stove. I still have pictures from this wedding on my camera. I looked at them 2 weeks ago.

But what's worse? 10 years and 3 kids, or having the wedding still fresh in your head cause IT JUST HAPPENED. Both to me, are equally as heartbreaking. As much as everyone says it's probably for the best, it feels like the worst.

My parents split when I was too young to understand, so I was never devastated by that news. I am devastated by this news, eventhough I hear nothing but bad news all day at work.

If I can be selfish for a moment, I guess it's just hard to hear, especially since the "M" word has come up in several conversations lately.

These couples are a statistic now. And the numbers are adding up. And it's just... discouraging is all. But I do know life goes on. It always has a way of working out.

But by the way...

I'm NEVER getting married. Although a dear friend assures me, "You will get married, and you will make it work."

My world shook after this getting this news.

Not crumbled, just shook.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

House Divided.

This is far beyond any Gamecock v. Clemson rivalry. As you may know, Jimmy and I work at competing stations yet again, as we did in Myrtle Beach.

Our morning coffee has become a ratings war.



Me - 15. Him - 13.
Me - 7. Him - 4.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Failure?

There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them. ~Tom Krause

Life is hard. For everyone, I know. I mean, if you say life is easy, I can't even talk to you, because YOU ARE A LIAR.

Lord knows I've done enough complaining and venting on this blog.

Between fights with friends, work stress, and other added problems, my stomach has been the equivalent to what a 14-year-old's room looks like. A mess. With shit everywhere. Pun intended.
Moving here and taking a new job at a bigger TV station, in a bigger city was incredibly scary. And there have moments where I questioned the move. I had the world's largest comfort zone at home. World's largest.

I've been at this station/city for 5 months now and have met some new, colorful people. (Some bitchy ones, too.) I've learned a heck of a lot. But I was forced to learn by being thrown to the wolves. My first two weeks here, I was expected to do things that I never imagined I'd be doing.

Getting up to speed, and getting there, fast. No pressure. Except, there was A LOT of pressure.

Stomach = knots. Hard, hard, hard.

I never thought I'd make it. I almost gave up and walked away. Who needs work?

Oh yeah, I do. Effing bills.

My first 30-days here were the toughest, perhaps, of my life. After working in one newsroom for 6 years, and then suddenly having a whole new set of rules, policies, technical must do's.. aye. I was a crying baby at home after work a lot of days.

Thank God for Jimmy and how he kept reassuring me that I was bettering myself and that I would get it.

Looking back, I know the pain was necessary. The failures I made, I learned from. And It made me better, now months later. Maybe I'll be even better in a year or two.

I feel like I went through a rehab program, and have recovered.

Looking from the outside in, watching myself evolve.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Oh, Amelia..

Oh what a movie.
And Hillary Swank, just so phenomenal in portraying her image.

I love Amelia. And idolize the bravery and courage about her. I wonder where else her will would have taken her, if she didn't mysteriously disappear that day in 1937. What else would this great woman of American history go on to have accomplished?

What a heartbreak.

With all do respect, Amelia, you were very stubborn. Something I can relate to.

When someone told you it's never been done, and 14 others died trying, you went.

When someone told you, you'd most likely die, you went.

And that, I guess, is how we've gotten to where we are today. Courage and the will to pave the way for others.

It is inspiring. That's for sure. You've done your job.

Amelia had a husband at home who adored her. He was someone she loved very much, as well. This was to be her last flight, then she would come home.

I started watching this movie forgetting how it would end. Tragically, pretty much.

I wanted a happy ending so bad. I wanted her to win! I wanted her to go on loving. You can't rewrite history, though. You can only learn from it.

She always knew it was a risk and yet still pushed forward. Always wanting more. Always aiming higher.

Oh, Amelia.

I just love you.

"I'd rather face a watery grave than go on living as a fraud. "
~Amelia Earhart


Saturday, April 24, 2010

A Few of my Favorite Things

in no particular order..

  • Getting new magazines in the mail
  • Toasted coconut coffee
  • Fresh cut grass
  • The smell of new construction
  • Tivo
  • Candles
  • My lunch box
  • The Office
  • Twitter
  • My Lolita wine glasses
  • Wedding receptions
  • Seeing new babies sleep
  • Sunday mornings
  • A day spent inside
  • Peanut butter & banana sandwiches
  • TJ Maxx
  • The smell of Starbucks
  • Days off
  • My Blackberry
  • My friends
  • Family events
  • Pastries
  • Madison and Makayla
  • Getting greeting cards in the mail
  • Making headway on bills
  • Cookouts
  • Fresh cut flowers
  • Yard sales
  • Peyton, Luke and Aiden
  • The news
  • Pay day
  • Walmart
  • Making a big fuss out of other's birthday's
  • Bargains
  • Bubble baths
  • Ingrid Michaelson
  • The Beach
  • Late night talk show humor
  • Perfume
  • Christmas
  • Satellitte Radio
  • Fresh mountain air
  • My bookshelf
  • Breakfast
  • Jimmy
  • Smooth days at work
  • Aprons
  • Red wine
  • Chipper maintenance men
  • Non-clutter
  • Good food

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Friend Notes

When you're down in the dumps, sometimes it takes notes like these to realize that life is worth living, and living well.

My friend Kim sent me this, when she knew I needed it the most.

For what it is worth:

1) you are a thoughtful friend. you send texts, cards, and flowers at the times when your friends need it
2) you make your friends laugh.
3) you see things from all angles and don't have a narrow point of view
4) you are fun to be around
5) you are sooooo pretty
6) you always smell good

I am proud that you are my friend!


And we know there's a bad list somewhere, but bless her soul for choosing not to sent that one.

Friends Rock.

Friday, April 9, 2010

What I know about James Walter

My Significant Other:

1. He's: Working, like me.
2. You're out to eat, what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Bleu Cheese
3. What's one food he doesn't like? He seems to like it all. No really, I think he does.
4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? Bud Light, or Oatmeal Stout
5. Where did he go to high school? Freedom High School
6. What size shoe does he wear? 10
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Press Passes
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Prime Rib or a good ole' Bacon Cheeseburger
9. What would this person eat every day if he could? See above.
10. What is his favorite cereal? Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch
11. What would he never wear? A Duke Shirt
12. What is his favorite sports team? Tie: Tarheels, Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots
13. Who did he vote for? Obama
14. Who is his best friend? He has several, but gonna have to go with Mike Turner.
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Stink up the bathroom and leave the door open!!!!
16. What is his heritage? Portugese
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Cheesecake
18. Did he play sports in high school? Soccer!
19. What could he spend hours doing? Watching sporting events on tv, lord help me.
20. What is one unique talent he has? He's quite the lensman.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The End.

Things can't always be as they were. I'm slowly realizing this as I continue to fight for a friendship that may already be gone.

Said friend writes ambigiously on her Facebook wall: "Friendships can't be fueled by memories."

No, no they can't said friend.

Nice job trying to get that message out without acting like it wasn't directed right at me.

Is it okay to let it go? After 7 years in the making? After journeying through hell and back? Even if I feel I've invested way too much of myself into it? I feel like I've put almost finished a jigsaw puzzle that's only got a few pieces left. And I'm walking away.

I need a therapist.

Is it okay go against the grain, and fight to keep something alive, that I guess has already been slipping through my fingers all along?

I guess it's time.

There's only so much you can do, I suppose. But this realization comes after months of a middle-school type fighting.

E-mailing - not getting responses back.

Texting - only to get one or two word responses, sometimes nothing at all.

Lauging louder, and acting so darn happy when an awkward meeting of the mutual friends including "said friend" and myself took place. Oh the maturity.

Did I try to call? Heck no. I don't like confrontation unless it absolutely necessary. I avoid talking on the phone as much as possible. So that's not an option until it has to be. I much prefer e-mail and text wars. There's a reason my work is done behind the scenes and not on camera.

But even after a phone conversation took place that was 3 months in the making: I got off the phone feeling pretty shitty about myself. I've never heard so many of my bad traits listed one of after the other -- to my face - in a matter of 45 minutes. Wow. I didn't know I had so many bad qualities. Thanks for that, I guess.

Okay. So maybe friendships aren't fuled by memories said friend. But seeing it in black and white, maybe you've helped me get the closure I need.

Maybe you just help me realize that I'm fighting for something that doesn't exist anymore.

So thanks, I guess.

For the cryptic FB message.

Now I can quit worrying. And realize that it is what it is.. and it can't be what it was. And my energy can be directed towards something much more healthier, like my current addiction of watching classic films. (Can't wait for Shop Around the Corner!)

So I guess we're in agreement.

The End.

But you get a whole blog post about it from me, instead of a measly little FB comment.

Yay!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

You Don't Like Kids?

These days, I'm on Twitter much more than Facebook, feels like. I get headlines faster, I get reaction to headlines faster, and I can find out what all of my Hollywood favorites are up, with one check of my Blackberry.

I still think it's very cool to follow a celebrity on Twitter. You get raw thoughts, feelings, and emotions. There's no other way to get a live feed of random thoughts that pop into say, Demi Moore's head. And a million of her other fans feel the same.

I follow a ton of news organizations, columnists, anchors, reporters, drummers, singers, actors, producers, writers, photographers - you name it. Recently, as I've become utterly obessed with Cosmo Radio on the Sirus satelitte radio that I cannot live without on my commute to work, I've been following my favorite radio talk show hosts that I've come to know and love.

Well, so I thought.

When you let someone into your car everyday for 30 minutes on the way to work, and 30 minutes on the way home, you find out what time certain shows come on, and you learn tons about the voices affiliated with those shows. I even thought about what their faces should look like in my brain, and after a few Google image searches, turns out I was way off.

So. Without sounding like a borderline stalker-listener, I've gotten to know, and grown to love several hosts. I follow them on Twitter, fan them on Facebook and when they say something that makes me laugh, find myself saying "Ah, that's so you, Taylor!" .. or whomever is chatting about top topics that day. I feel like I should know these people. I feel like they should be following ME on Twitter. I feel like we should all be friends. The end.

Except.

When are you following one of said radio hosts on the ole Twitter network, and one of them makes a comment that they.. "Don't like kids."

You don't LIKE kids?

Okay. Keep in mind I follow a lot of republicans, foul-mouthed folks, contrarians, etc. So I hear things that I disagree with all the time. It's a part of the whole reaction-to-world-events that makes Twitter so charming.

I don't know why this comment soured me, it just did. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And I even work in a business where we welcome ALL opinions. All sides to every story. But just like that, feel animosity towards this host now. I was already on the fence with some of the judgey-comments she makes and the incredibly high-horse she sits on as she hosts one of my favorite shows.

Howevs, this comment. You don't like kids. YOU DON'T LIKE KIDS?

I remember when one of my friends always said she never wanted kids because she didn't like them. Now, she has a very cute orange-headed little angel. :) Granted, she gets irked at almost every other munchkin that's not hers, but still. She went from not liking kids when we were teenagers, to having one. So it's okay. It's okay to be a teenager and not like kids. When you are over 30 and "don't like kids" it means they annoy you, and you are selfish. It means you are too good to recognize the innocence, playfulness, and wholesomeness - and joy little ones add to certain aspects of your life.

AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A KID. I just happen to love them. Very much.

As I look at the wonderful little humans my friends are raising, I can't help but wonder what they are going to be. What they are going to do when they get older. How they are going to influence this world. How they are going to lead this in this world. And how, they are going to want to make such a huge difference, that they will do just that.

When are you are over 30 and sit on your judgey high-horse saying you don't like kids, It makes me want to swim through the airwaves that I pay so much $ for, and punch you in the face. So insensitive. Honest, but incredibly insensitive. Especially when a ton of your viewers have, and adore their own kids.

These so called kids you don't like, could one day save your life. Could one day change the world you still live in.

If you want to be a public figure, fine. Great. Just be cautious of the 1,455 people who chose to follow you on Twitter and the way they lead their lives. The majority of them, with kids, I imagine.

You might piss one of them off with an off -the-cuff comment, which will then ineviatably move your magic Twitter number down to 1,454.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

A Tweeting Idiot

So, I sent out a NCAA March Madness-related tweet today.

It came down as an "AP Urgent" at work, and I got caught up in the excitement. And it was less than 140 characters.. and... I just sent it out.

But I don't really care about basketball. That is, unless I'm in a newsroom that does brackets. But I'm not, currently. So I immediately regretted sending it.

The stupid tweet wasn't even about local teams. It was about freaking Kansas. I've never been to Kansas. I don't think anyone in family has ever been to Kansas.

I wanted to take-back-tweet. But that's not a real-life option.

It's not like I was going to follow-up with any other b-ball tweets.. I had no clue what I was talking about.

And as the "Selection Show" continued.. people started tweeting tons about the "selections" and what have you. Then I realized I was in over my head. I had no idea what they were talking about.

TAKE THIS TWEET, FOR EXAMPLE:

fredontv (WSPA Anchor/Former Sportscaster) Tweets: "How do they take non-balanced conference sked into account when all conferences keep growing 12-16 teams? Let's just dump non-league games."

Wh? Wha? What?

What the HECK does that mean?

I tweeted out of my league today.

Feeling like a tweediot.

Friday, March 12, 2010

I wanted to write..

I wanted to write a blog about how bitter I am at the world right now.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how some people suck ass so freaking bad. And how the anger gets more and more pent up with each passing day.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how I want to scream, and punch and spit and kick.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about the rain, and how cozy it makes one's living room and how it just doesn't help the mood swings.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about work. And my frustrations and fears.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about my future. Marriage. Kids. Life and death.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how, 28 years in, and everyday, I'm still unhappy with my body.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how unfair it is that I'm going to have to miss out on some major family events this year, because of my job and this business.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog defending myself. Defending my actions. Saying: I'm not wrong! I'm not the bad guy.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog telling my dearest friends how a lot of times I think about how I should've called, or should've asked more about things they are going through.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how sad I am. How much faith I've lost in people. And how I know it will all change when the sun comes out again.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a deep, dark, depressing blog.

But I won't.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The M word.

It's official. James and myself have started to pool our money together with long-term goals in mind.

AKA - We've started a marriage savings account.

Well, that's what I'm calling it. I'm sure he'll have another name for it without the M word in it.

My big brother, who's a newlywed has this to say: "That's a big step. Man. You'll need to go ahead and stock that thing as much as you can." (In referring to the savings account).

Thanks, big bro.

So much to think about in the actual planning of a wedding. (Which, to be clear, is not yet happening.) But there have been discussions.

I know why planning a wedding makes people NUTS.

Big wedding..
Small wedding..
Church..
No church..
Beach..
No Beach..
Whom to walk me down aisle..
Color of my dress..
Color of bridesmaid dresses..
Style of my dress..
Type of flowers..
Invitation type..
Sit down dinner.. or buffet..
Hair up or down..
Location..

To elope or not?

Yes that non-stressful path is very much an option in my mind. The ONLY think keeping from that, is the constant regret I know I would live my whole life with.

I don't like the idea of everyone's eyes being on me for any given moment, but..

I do want to wear the big white dress.
I do want to dance with family and friends whom I never get to see.
I do want the tradition of it all.

I want to come up with little quirks.. find unique things. I want to pick the perfect date. I want to pick the perfect location. I want to do it the Jaimie way. I think If I hop a plane to Vegas, that won't happen.

I think the only thing I do know: where we want to honeymoon. Europe. Italy, France or Ireland. Just somewhere.. over there.

But we'll probably end up at a beach somewhere... sharing a Tecate.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Valentine's Day at Midnight

Here's my Valentine's Day present that Jimmy hid.. in the bathroom. But when I found it, I was oh so excited! Then I immediately unpacked my little table top jewerly box and found out that I need more things to fill this beauty.

My mom said I need a ring to put in it.




Thursday, February 11, 2010

Red Velvet Cupcakes

Think I'm going to make a batch of Red Velvet Cupcakes for Valentine's Day.

MMmmm!

Prep time
15 min
total time
1 hr 10 min
makes
24 servings


What You Need:

1 pkg. (2-layer size) red velvet cake mix
1 pkg. (3.9 oz.) JELL-O Chocolate Instant Pudding
1 pkg. (8 oz.) Cream Cheese, softened
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened
1 pkg. (16 oz.) powdered sugar (about 4 cups)
1 cup thawed Cool Whip Whipped Topping
1 square White Chocolate, shaved into curls


PREPARE cake batter and bake as directed on package for 24 cupcakes, blending dry pudding mix into batter before spooning into prepared muffin cups. Cool.

MEANWHILE, beat cream cheese and butter in large bowl with mixer until well blended. Gradually beat in sugar. Whisk in COOL WHIP. Spoon 1-1/2 cups into small freezer-weight resealable plastic bag; seal bag. Cut small corner off bottom of bag. Insert tip of bag into top of each cupcake to pipe about 1 Tbsp. frosting into center of cupcake. FROST cupcakes with remaining frosting. Top with chocolate curls. Keep refrigerated.

Got this one from Kraft.com

V.


I claim there ain't
Another Saint
As great as Valentine.

~Ogden Nash

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Green Grass



Too many people are thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, when they ought to just water the grass they are standing on.

~Amar Dave

Saturday, January 30, 2010

No Sleep.

Another night of restless tossing and turning.

It's 2am and here I am.

My body is exhausted after a long day of work, as well as my brain. I'm so tired, I can feel it my legs. And as I wait for my last-resort sleeping pill to kick in - a million things are running through my mind just as they have over the past few nights.

My mind goes to some pretty odd places as I lie in bed.

Here's just a few: (okay, a lot)

  1. I should write a blog about all the places my mind is going. Right now.
  2. I ate 2 1/2 pieces of pizza today. Other than that, my day was pretty nutritious.
  3. I wonder if there will be snow on the ground when I wake up.
  4. Those raindrops I heard are hard. I bet there's ice involved.
  5. I wonder if Jimmy can tell I'm tossing and turning. All night. Everynight.
  6. I'm sooooooo freeeeaking sleepy.
  7. I miss my Nana.
  8. I remember when we got the call in the middle of the night alerting us to her death.
  9. Nothing good ever comes of a middle-of-the-night phone call.
  10. I'm so over this fucking fight I'm having with friend. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh!
  11. Speaking of cuss words - an employee cussed on the air today. And we got lots of calls about it. I personally took a call from a man who gathered his childern around the TV to watch all the snow coverage. Wasn't expected the GD to fly out on local news. Yeah, us either, sir.
  12. My head hurts.
  13. I'm grinding my teeth again at night.
  14. If I have to go to work with tired, burning eyes again, I'm going to kill myself.
  15. The sound of the newsrooom phones... ringing.. ringing.. ringing..
  16. One of my favorite Sirius XM radio show hosts really pissed me off tonight.
  17. Why are there so many damn ladybugs sneaking in our apartment?
  18. It's 2:00am. Why are there doors still slamming in the damn building?
  19. Should I go in the other room to watch TV as I sleep so my mind doesn't race?
  20. I wish I could just not care about shit sometimes. Worrying sucks.
  21. I forgot to use Listerine after I brushed tonight.
  22. I wonder if my car will get broken into tonight.
  23. I feel guilty for being sleep deprieved when I don't even have a kid keeping me up.
  24. I feel bad for being a butt to my mom on the phone today. I always feel bad AFTER the fact. But can never remember that during the conversation.
  25. Two more days of work and then two days off.
  26. Why the hell did I get into this business? I really deserve my full week at Edisto.
  27. The pizza I ate was Pizza Hut. Secretly my favorite. Haven't had it in forever. I asked them (work) to get a cheese pizza. But ate the sausage/pepperoni. It just looked much more appealing.
  28. I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get renters insurance.
  29. I need to pay my mom the like $80 I owe her.
  30. I'm glad I'm not single and living here. I would have a hard time finding people to go out with at my work. Especially on my schedule.
  31. I just heard Jimmy cough. I bet he can hear me typing.
  32. I want to go to bed, but I'm really scared of laying there and not being able to go to sleep.
  33. The thought of that is making me cry.
  34. Maybe tomorrow no caffeine after morning coffee.
  35. My tivo box says it's 2:20. When I sat down it read "12:00." It was broken. Jimmy called about it. Think it's fixed now.
  36. How freaking long does it take for a sleeping pill to kick in?
  37. I wonder when I'll get my book I ordered about helping kick exhaustion, and detoxing your body.
  38. I think I'm getting cramps.
  39. Zits.
  40. Wonder when the Proactiv I ordered will arrive.
  41. Deep breath. Here I go toward the bed.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Keeping Up With Current Events




-- "The worst of the storm has passed" for the economy, President Obama says in State of the Union address

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hazards


Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it, because I want do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge for others.


~Amelia Earhart

Myself. Evolving.



I'm working on a new me. A healthier me. Inside and out.

I'm not just going with the ole "I'm losing weight" or "I need to floss more" for this year's Resolution.

I realize it's nearly February. I've been busy. Get off my back.

I would like to get some of that holiday weight off, sure. And I am working on that.

But I also want to be better, happy with the people in my life. I want to be less mean. But more real. Less grumpy. I want everything not to piss me off. I don't want everything to get to me and most of all, I don't want to hold grudges. Unfortunately, generations of Italian and Slovak relatives make that impossible. That one is a long-term goal.

But in a perfect world, ya know..

I don't hate me, though. There are a lot of good characteristics about myself that I love. I'm a good friend. Maybe too good sometimes. (Others may disagree.) I get hurt in a lot of my friendships by holding others to the same friendship standards that I hold for myself. I sometimes feel like I would walk through fire for my friends, and when I don't always get that in return, I get a dose of reality. Life gets in the way, though. I'm realizing that. And all of my friends are in different stages of their lives than I. Single, seriously dating, flinging, newly co-habitating, married, kids, etc. Life happens. People drift. Things people once thought were the most important to them, aren't anymore. And that's okay.

I'm learning as life progresses, the meaning of life.. well, it changes. And it's that very notion, that I sometimes have a hard time dealing with.

Working on me is something that will take a long time. I expect no overnight, dramatic improvments.

I think watching CW's newest drama Life Unexpected isn't helping. Very emotional. So good.

Day by day.




Monday, January 4, 2010

A Proud Mama


Okay.

I do not have children. I do not have pets. I have one plant.

Seldom do I feel like a proud mama.

But when I opened the doors of my little three bedroom apartment to these pair of gray, buckle suede pumps - I made a special place in my closet for these sweet darlings.

I cannot wait to wear these to work.

The only thing these gals need.. are a fresh round of bold brunette hair-dye. Unstoppable.

Oh, it's love.