I'm working on a new me. A healthier me. Inside and out.
I'm not just going with the ole "I'm losing weight" or "I need to floss more" for this year's Resolution.
I realize it's nearly February. I've been busy. Get off my back.
I would like to get some of that holiday weight off, sure. And I am working on that.
But I also want to be better, happy with the people in my life. I want to be less mean. But more real. Less grumpy. I want everything not to piss me off. I don't want everything to get to me and most of all, I don't want to hold grudges. Unfortunately, generations of Italian and Slovak relatives make that impossible. That one is a long-term goal.
But in a perfect world, ya know..
I don't hate me, though. There are a lot of good characteristics about myself that I love. I'm a good friend. Maybe too good sometimes. (Others may disagree.) I get hurt in a lot of my friendships by holding others to the same friendship standards that I hold for myself. I sometimes feel like I would walk through fire for my friends, and when I don't always get that in return, I get a dose of reality. Life gets in the way, though. I'm realizing that. And all of my friends are in different stages of their lives than I. Single, seriously dating, flinging, newly co-habitating, married, kids, etc. Life happens. People drift. Things people once thought were the most important to them, aren't anymore. And that's okay.
I'm learning as life progresses, the meaning of life.. well, it changes. And it's that very notion, that I sometimes have a hard time dealing with.
Working on me is something that will take a long time. I expect no overnight, dramatic improvments.
I think watching CW's newest drama Life Unexpected isn't helping. Very emotional. So good.
Day by day.