A Text From A Friend

This is a text I got from a dear friend, who suffered a great loss. Her step-father died after a long battle with Cancer.

This text made me glad to be her friend and I want to keep it forever.

"Just came to Moe's for a change of scenery. A little nervous about tonight.... just getting upset seeing old friends and such. But I can't wait to sit around with all of you when we are 58-years-old and feeling so safe to be able to talk about anything, and everything and everyone sleeping in the same house at good times and bad. Xo."
~Amy Benton Kuenzel
August 20, 2010
2:45pm

Suffering a Loss

A few weekends ago, I attended a funeral for Rod Shealy.

He was the step-dad of a very close friend whom I met in college, and remain very good friends with. Rod was that guy you loved to sit around with. He would don a hawaiian shirt, no matter the occasion. He'd have a cigar close by... a "brown liquor drink" and usually his guitar.

He liked a good time, and yes, after-hours Pancake/Waffle joints.

He taught us how to play roulette on his genuine eBay-purchased board. He mastered the art of saying "No More Bets" as the wheel would spin it's final rounds.

It wasn't until after college, when I realized that he was much more influential, than I could ever know. When I entered the world of TV news, I realized Rod was quite the politician. But even more than that -- a pretty bad-ass writer that I could look up to. He had a way with words, hence how good he was in politics.

His funeral was more emotionally draining than I could ever imagine. I had quite the back-stock of saline saved up.

Hearing his son talk about growing up with a dad like Rod was pretty amazing. I can't even imagine being able to face those people and actually tell funny stories about your parent that has passed.

I'm glad I went. It gave me the perfect opportunity to reflect on how Rod changed my life. And of course I wanted to be there for a very dear friend who lost a father, and her mother, who lost someone who WAS her life for so very long.

In that same day I got to spent a short amount of time with a friend's child who was days away from turning one.

Saying goodbye to a male figure I grew to love, and wishing a first Happy Birthday to another male who I have already grown to love.

Full circle.

Opinions

I read on a wedding website that you should not talk about your wedding. You will get unsolicited opinions that will crush you.

That was the best piece of advice I've been given thus far.

People have made it abundantly clear when they don't like a color, location, dress, flower, centerpiece that I'm a excited about.

I even had someone look at my ring and say: "Um, well you can always go bigger for an anniversary."

Didn't know people said that out loud.

I happen to like my ring the way it is. It's a very special piece of jewelry that I will forever treasure.

If you know anything about me, it's the fact that I love getting things passed down that were once used in my family. The same goes for Jimmy's family. This ring on my finger has been around from Eisenhower to Obama.

I dare you to go bigger than that.

Don't get me wrong. I like getting advice from people close to me, or whom people's wedding judgement I value.

But when I tell them the colors... and I get a... "No, you should really incorporate some of this in."
Really.

Or when a close (very religious) family member asks me if I'm getting married in a church. Gulp. I knew this question was coming.

I give her my "It's not who we are as a couple," speech. And the "I don't want to lie to the church, and ourselves, and say were active Christians, when we're not, just to get married in a church" speech. It's really not the honest way of doing things, I believe. That's not to say that I won't continue going to church every now and then, and that I won't take my children to church.

It's seconds later, I'm called a heathen, and am told our children will be bastards.

There's the spirit.

Nothing like a bitter Betty to dampen the engagement bliss.

That's one of the harsher comments I've gotten.

Unfortunately for me, it was from someone who I've always looked up to.

I imagine this blog will deter anyone from ever giving me any opinions -- EVER -- again for my wedding.

My bridesmaids usually are the only ones who read this, so, if you do -- I vaule your opinion, judgement, and views.

You wouldn't be in my wedding, if I didn't.