I produce newscasts for a living.
It's exhilarating and provides a huge adrenaline rush at times. You're always in the loop, usually ahead of the loop.
You know things before the rest of the world and it's amazing being at the center of what's happening and being able to deliver that first-hand account.
People ask me if I have power... I usually say no.
However, nightly I hand-pick what will air live at 11pm. I craft the mood, and tone in which our news is delivered operating under the guidelines and standards of our station/company.
Thousands of people watch. Thousands of people trust what we have to say and some of them, they watch every single night.
If they don't like it, they'll usually call and let us know about it. Usually in a completely rude manner.
But sometimes we get the kinder caller, who just wants to pass along a comment or concern.
It all comes down to money. Businesses won't advertise, unless the station can prove A LOT of people watch. That comes down to ratings. We have to get people to watch. And the managers who are my bosses will stop at nothing to make people watch. Which means new demands, new policies, and a whole lot of extra pressure.
Aye, the pressure.
My gynecologist said it best: Every job comes with it's stressors.
I can only imagine her vents at cocktail hour.
I guess what I'm getting at is... news is special. There is a special bond between those who have shed blood, sweat and tears in a newsroom. There is certain closeness between those who know what a VOSOT is.
News has made me an incredibly strong person. It takes a lot more for me to cry now. I have much thicker skin. I've met some of my best friends in the world in news. I wouldn't take any of my 7 years in news back.
With all the pressure, and crying... (if you work in news, and try to tell me you haven't cried -- you are a big fat, fatty-fat liar. I used to have a favorite "cry stall" in the bathroom of my last station.) I just wonder... do I still love it, and is it still worth it?
I just don't know.
I'll be working at my current station for two more years, so I have some time to figure out what to do.
I think I'm starting to need a little more from what I do. I spend so much time and energy there. I deserve something other than wrinkles.
Maybe I'm just supposed to be doing something more.
But WHAT is it?
Someone tell me.