Holidays are no cake walk, post-injury. In fact, they're so much tougher now, on an emotional level.
And I'm not sure why.
Maybe because on a day like today, Jimmy would be feeling that societal pressure to make reservations, spend his hard-earned cash, get me something sweet, etc. I'd make a comment about it being our 'first Valentine's Day as a married couple' just to rub some salt in that wound. The point is -- we'd probably do something. We'd probably do something fun and eat something good.
This morning I woke up in a funk. I had a headache and I was grumpy, and truly deep down -- I was selfishly expecting something out on the counter.
I think I got spoiled all those years of waking up at home and finding Valentine's goodies left by Moms and Pops.
It started to feel like any other day. I experienced this on Christmas Eve. Jimmy's morning routine doesn't change just because it's a holiday. But it makes it tough for me. I like those different, special days. With subtle surprises and goodies.
I watched a few chick-flicks while Jimmy napped this morning. It of course made me sad(der), so I made myself get up and shower. I knew it would make me feel better.
There were a few errands I needed to run, so I went out for a short while. My last stop was Publix where I saw a handful of guys carrying out bouquets of flowers before I could even get in the front door.
I walked in and the massive display stopped me in my tracks. I wanted flowers.
So, I picked some out for myself.
And I didn't stop there. I got myself a white chocolate raspberry heart-shaped mini cake that read "Call Me."
I was getting an idea.
On Valentine's Eve, Jimmy got extremely emotional about not being able to go out and get me something. I brushed it off and told him it was really okay. We'd order in dinner and watch a movie and the day didn't have to be about gifts.
I clearly needed the gifts. The moment I saw the peachy/orangey/yellowy roses -- they were mine.
And why shouldn't I have a Call Me Cake? I deserve a Call Me Cake.
I got Jimmy some stuff for V-day, too. I got him a bunch of sweets. Lately, that's a sure fire way to get a good mood out of him.
I walked in and said, "Honey, you didn't have to do that!"
He said... "What...."
"I said you didn't have to get me these beautiful flowers and this awesome heartcake. But you did!"
He really did. I used his card to pay for it.
He was happy that I was happy. Win-win.
Earlier in the day, we ordered a steak dinner from a restaurant delivery service. Our steaks came, I set up a candlelit dinner and put on some jazz. It was perfection. We watched a movie and then I turned off the TV while we talked about the day, and how it turned out.
This morning I thought it would be a really crummy day. I got off my butt, showered, and put a little effort into making it a memorable Valentine's Day. As much as I pretended I didn't care about the day -- uhm, lie.
It turned out to be really good and silly.