Thursday, August 30, 2012

Crummy Days, They Happen

Today hasn't been a very good day for Jimmy, physically.

Today hasn't been a very good day for me, emotionally.

The combination of the two has caused some anguish in the Moore household.

It's been a helluva morning.

Jimmy was freezing -- even under a thick blanket and hat. His neck is in pain and he's exhausted.

I'm just... blah. A little sad recently. Don't know why. It comes and goes. Sometimes it's because I want to talk to him about stuff, and I can't. Sometimes it's because I'm lonely. Sometimes it's because I'm bored.

Sometimes I get caught feeling sorry for myself -- or us.

Sometimes its a tough realization that because we're doing better and progressing, fewer people reach out. Their lives go on leaving us to fend for ourselves. It is what it is. We've got to live, too.

Sometimes I find myself still grieving. I think about the past.

I can't help compare the pre-injury Jimmy -- energetic and always on the go -- to the post-injury Jimmy. Always tired. Rare when he feels up to doing stuff.

I've made a good place for myself as being the strong one. I usually can knock it out of the park.

And this morning, Jimmy said, "I've never felt so bad."

He has. But it lets me know how crummy he's feeling.

Everything I was upset about seems minuscule. It's important to address it later, but my heart melts for this man.

We walked and rolled outside, if for nothing else to warm Jimmy up.

The fresh air always seems to chip away at that suckiness.

We don't even need to talk. Sitting. Daydreaming. Blogging. Listening to the air-conditioners kick on. The nearby interstate. The train.

Inhale... Exhale.

I've got a Starbucks appointment in a short while with a dear friend. Jimmy and I have peer support tonight.

Have a feeling the second half of this day is looking up.

2 comments:

  1. My heart definitely goes out to you both. It's easy to think that we all have crappy days, but putting your days into perspective, it makes me realize just how 'un-crappy' mine really are. Even if I get too wrapped up in my own stuff, know that I'm always thinking about you two and wishing you the best!

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  2. Thank you for sharing your life with us. We need to hear about the not so great days. We love you and miss you more than you could imagine.

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