Monday, June 10, 2013

L-O-V-E

"The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together."
-Robert C Dodds

June 11, 2011
Pawleys Island, SC
Our first dance: L-O-V-E, Joss Stone
Dear, JWM, Jr.

Here we are. Two years later.

We made it to the start of our third year as a married couple. I'm still here and so are you.  Do we get our gold medal yet? I'll settle for cake.

I'm proud to be a part of this union.

I love you to itsy-bitsy-Reese's-pieces. Still. Nothing about the accident has changed that. I look at your cute little tan face when you're resting on the ventilator at night and sometimes I hate it. It's not fair what happened to you.

It's not fair: I never speak those words out loud, I only write them here when I want to be honest with myself. We just can't dwell in what's fair and what isn't and I'm proud we don't live our lives that way.

The good news is that I don't really feel sorry for us that much anymore. "Woe is me" isn't really turning out to be our style.

In fact, we get excited about the really good parking. Sometimes we get special accommodations that are reallllly nice and we freakin' eat it up. The special entrances. The shorter lines. When there's enough sucky stuff you start find these little nuggets of relief.  

We've grown fond of so many people in our new life that we never would have known if we would have continued in our old life. Many of them were there at the start of our marriage when all of this happened and I didn't want them to be there.  But now I think: where would we be without them?

Could you ever imagine our family/friends who have stepped up as they have? And then, sadly, some who have vanished from our lives. That's the reality. Tragedy has a strange effect on some.      

I feel as if I'm a better person because of the crash. I feel stronger and more compassionate. I'm better equipped when tragedies happen around me.

Same goes for you.  I admire how you've dealt with the challenges of this big, huge thing on top of handling the trials and tribulations that come along with marriage, much less the first few years of marriage.  

I feel like the accident and the tools we've gotten following the accident have helped us to be able to communicate and deal with our hard minutes together.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that all marriages have flaming arrows. Ours came flying right out of the gate. Like, whoa! Calm down, universe.

But if you peel back the "accident" layer you'll simply see a guy and a girl who happen to get along.

Happy anniversary, James Walter. Thanks for always helping me.

PS) This is the anniversary blog from last year, "8,772 Hours Later." I was reading it before I wrote this one to see how far we've come in just 365 lil ole days.

3 comments:

  1. Happy Anniversary you two! Love you both!

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  2. Happy Anniversary to you both! You continue to leave me in awe of your strength and courage.

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  3. How wonderful it is that you two took this tragedy and truly turned it around to the very best of your abilities. Even though I don't work with Jimmy everyday, I think of you both daily. The very best to you both!!

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