Monday, July 8, 2013

FOMO

I'm having a hard time with life lately.  I'm not sure why. Am I tired? Am I having a woe-is-me moment?  Are things slowing down to an excruciatingly dull pace after a super-busy June?

Since my therapist isn't available all the time, (contrary to what Meryl Streep showed me in It's Complicated) I'll have to self-diagnose.

I feel like Facebook is hard. It's hard to see the seemingly happy, "normal" lives right there on my iPhone which is practically sewn into my hand. I get nervous when that stupid little flat rectangle machine is in a different room than I. It's a sickness.

I read an article recently that introduced me to FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out. I think I knew about it already but I get so excited when someone else puts it in black and white when I can't. It's there and it's not just me.

Martha Beck, a regular columnist in Oprah's magazine wrote, "The social media world that named FOMO has also made it an epidemic. It's hard not to develop this 21st-century form of anxiety when one glance at your smartphone reveals a thousand awesome things your friends -- and enemies -- are doing."

In that same article, I also read how it's important to remember these are simply moments in life. Happy, exhilarating, wonderful moments in otherwise maybe hard, challenging lives.

"A powerful way to fight FOMO is to recognize that the fabulous life you think you're missing doesn't in fact exist. Our media, including social media, present an endless montage of momentary highs disguised as everyday activities. But evaluating other people's real experience by their carefully curated onscreen images is like trying to navigate with binoculars that show only mountain peaks."

Martha knows her shit. Mountain peaks.

Here's what I need to focus on: everyone has their hard thing. Ours is in the form of a spinal cord injury.

Someone else's may be an extremely difficult relationship with a relative, a miscarriage, a financial burden, addiction, divorce, unhappiness in the workplace, etc.

Mine is for me. I have to try and find a way to live with our new challenges while still being happy-ish.

I think Momastery's today blog landed in my timeline (of course I was on Facebook a bunch already today. Ick. Stop it, J.) in the nick of time.
My woe may have something to do with the stress of searching for a new place to live. Jimmy needs more room. We both do, I think. We could use an extra room for a guest or a future tot(!!).

(Striving for happiness)

But, more room = more money. Way more money in Atlanta, apparently.  Also, our apartment is conveniently (inconveniently) located on a street with giant, beautiful houses (lives). One of which I went in for an estate sale. Cruel. So hard not to imagine our lives playing out in a place like that and how wonderful it would be. Just cruel.

I make it a point to occasionally read mom blogs which talk about raising kids in NYC. Moms who are okay with turning a closet into a nursery.  Who needs the Pinterest nursery? Pssshhhh. (My hand slowly raising...)

It helps me realize that having the big house in the big city is a big dream and maybe not a reality. So, my dream of a guest suite and a massive nursery? Not having that RIGHT NOW? it's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

We live in a really good area. We are just blocks from The Shepherd Center (our safety net). We live even closer to a regular hospital (another safety net). We live so close to so much good food, good shops and really close to some really good friends.

We don't have it so bad and I have to remember we may not always live in such a good location.

(Embracing happy-ish)

Some of the people I know have it all figured out with their beautiful families and big homes, or at least appear to. But here's the catch: they still have daily problems and tears. Maybe even more tears than me.

Maybe I see their mountain peaks on Facebook and it's hard.

Maybe I just needed to write this blog to help myself realize that we still have a lot of good around us. We're very lucky.

It's not always easy to see that, but we are.

Real estate is a bitch. But, we can be fine wherever we are. I lived on the Shepherd campus and then in a hotel room after the accident. I was fine.

Correction: As long as I had a television, I was fine.

We'll be fine.

I'm going now. Going to enjoy my great location and my short drive to Starbucks, Publix and EVERYTHING.

Be jealous of my mountain peak.

5 comments:

  1. Great great article. Beck's FOMO article resonated with me too. My husband says he almost never goes on FB anymore with all the bragging and perfect looking-ness. But we're all guilty to some degree. What am I going to do, post a selfie of me crying the shower because I can't make it through today? So I wait for the kids, or me, to be cute. And voila! FOMO. Keep writing...xoxo

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  2. Thanks for this, Jaimie. I think I needed it today. I've been having one of those why-does-everyone-have-it-together-except-me kinda weeks. But then I realize that I've got it pretty good. XOXO

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  3. Wonderful points you bring up here, Jaim. Facebook is a personal PR agency for every person in the world. Just remember that...although it sounds like you've already figured it out. FOMO is a legit thing and I suffer from it sometimes too, so you're not alone. But it's great to see that you're embracing the many, many awesome things about your life and the real blessings that they are. With an attitude like that you'll never go wrong. God bless you, friend.

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  4. I am so very glad that I read this post today. I have been sitting here feeling the same. My thoughts exactly about everyone on vacation (many pics on FB), new homes, redecorated homes, better job (this is my envy at present)and I could go on. You are blessed with what you have, and so am I. It is just easier to see the green on the other side, even though there are rocks, bugs, and bare spots. Have a great day!

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  5. Very good post Jamie and yes, Facebook gets me also. I think everyone tries to out shine everyone and it gets depressing. This is the first year we haven't gone on vacation cause it's very hard for me. (I am 55!) But, on the other hand I have a comfy bed at night and I love a person like crazy that is next to me. Much love, Cheri

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