Sunday, July 21, 2013

So Long, 31!

As of  8:19 tomorrow morning, I will be 32 years old. I'm pleased with how 31 went. I don't recall saying that often at the end of my years.

This morning, I'm finding myself just a little emotional and wanting to reflect on the past 365 days.

My 30th year on this planet was maybe my most challenging year yet. I turned 30 just a few weeks before Jimmy's accident. Universe: "Uhmm, welcome to this new decade, Jaimie. Get your big girl underpants ready.  Don't worry, everyone will buy you more than enough Starbucks to help you stumble through it all on two feet."

31, though, meant growth. Acceptance. Adjustment. More and more slivers of happiness. Less tears. The week of August 8, 2011, I could never have imagined we'd be here: happyish (not just happy) in this new life. Our New Normal.

Birthday #SELFIE
I feel great. 31 is the year where I lost about 15-20lbs. I was able recently put on a pair of jeans that I hadn't worn since Jimmy and I started dating. That was in 2007.

31 was the year where we made the decision to move to a new place, a new community. Could this be where we plant roots? Time will tell.

31 was the year when I went back to being a blond. Light and airy. Maybe my bold brunette will return later this year. Or maybe not.

31 was the year I stopped being so scared. I'm starting to not let fear control our lives. We're trying more, experimenting more.

31 was the year I ran my first 10K.
31 was the year I went to my first book signing and met a hero.
31 was the year I put on my wedding dress for the first time since June 2011.
31 was the year Jimmy and I started learning to spend more time apart.
31 was the year I started playing tennis less and running more.
31 was the year I went home for Christmas for the first time since the accident.
31 was the year I took Jimmy home. The first time he'd been there since the accident.
31 was the year I got my first tattoo.

31 was the year I finally felt I was starting to see the world clearly.

31 was the year when Jimmy and I decided we have somewhat of a handle on this life.

31 was the year Jimmy and I decided it's time. We don't know if we can have a baby, but hey, why not give it a go? 

What will 32 bring? Either way: more change, more growth.

In a few weeks, Jimmy and I will celebrate his 2nd Life Day. The second anniversary of his wreck. All the memories of the accident day that will no doubt be hard to re-visit.

There will be some happiness on that day, though. Looking around and forcing myself breath in some fresh air, stand in the sunshine or watch as the raindrops land on my arms. 

Because, life now means not taking those things for granted. 

And, there will be cake.

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