Thursday, June 12, 2014

20 Weeks

Halfway through the pregnancy! I can't believe it. I feel like I haven't grown but then I look back at 16 week picture and, yeah, belly looks a little bigger.


Total Weight Gain/Loss: Some gained.

Maternity clothes: All day everyday.

Stretch marks: I don't think so. Let me rephrase: I don't think any of my current stretch marks are from pregnancy.

Sleep: Varies from night to night. Sometimes good. Sometimes not very much at all. There's the whole waking up to pee a lot. Sometimes I can go right back to sleep. Sometimes I need the TV's help. Naps still needed during the afternoon from time to time.   


Movement: It's all very popcorny feeling still.

Food cravings: Mexican. Ice Creamy things. Smoothies. Sno-cones look good. Sno-cones never look good.   

Gender: GURL.

Labor signs: Nah.

Belly button - in or out? In. I do check it a lot though.

What I miss: I'm all set. 

What I am looking forward to: Definitive baby movement. Getting more baby gear. Looking truly pregnant and not just chubs.     

Milestones: Having the anatomy scan, seeing her move/change positions (cross legs and suck thumb) confirming gender. 

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Three Years Since 'I Do'

James Walter, 

I love you more than anything on this planet. Thank you for always caring and listening. I'm convinced if we somehow made it through all of this, still breathing, we can make it through anything. Our little girl is in for a real treat with a Poppa like you. 

Thank you for three years of real, true, ugly love. 

I couldn't ask for anything more. 

“Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Friday, June 6, 2014

It's a GIRL (and other craziness)

We just recently confirmed at our anatomy scan that we are having A GIRL. We kind of already knew, though. 

At 12 weeks, when I was having some screenings done, I made the ultrasound tech guess on baby's gender. She told us not to hold her to this, but based on what she was seeing, she was thinking girl. She said she was about 75% sure.

Jimmy just knew it was a girl. I thought for sure boy, but at 12 weeks still felt it could go either way. 

It was just a few days later, when my parents came to visit, that I got the urge to do a mini-reveal for them. But what do you do when you really aren't sure but are still very excited to tell what may be?

I thought these balloons explained.

It's PROBABLY a girl.  
After 12 week ultrasound
At about 17 weeks, only about two weeks before our anatomy scan that I knew would reveal gender more accurately, I got super antsy and decided to get an elective ultrasound done. I had started playing around on registries and really REALLY wanted to know. 

I booked an appointment for the next day to have a "gender peek."  Jimmy came and when we got there, we tried and tried, but couldn't get him in the building. I did email the company beforehand to check on it. They told me the entrance was not accessible because they had a few small steps. We have a ramp. I thought it wouldn't be a problem. 

It was a huge, sweaty, stressful problem and a massive emotional blow. The entrance was a logistical nightmare for a wheelchair. We spent a good 30 minutes trying. Jimmy felt like crap that day and still came with me to the ultrasound. That's huge husband points. I tried not to cry while in the waiting room alone. I think I did. Not crying is impossible these days. We agreed we'd get a DVD done so he could see what I was seeing. We were there. Might as well go in and do it.

I got the ultrasound done. I then ran outside to tell Jimmy the news who was waiting right outside the building. He was still convinced it was a girl. He was right. 

I ran outside with tears in my eyes and couldn't get words out. I finally did and we hugged. He was pretty proud he was right all along. He was happy. I was happy. It was good getting a little more confirmation although we were both a little scarred from just one of us being able to go in. He was truly a good sport about it. I love him. 

When we got home we watched the DVD together of our little girl moving all about. You know you are excited to be a parent when you get teary-eyed and proud watching an ultrasound DVD. 

I would peek over at his face while watching and see his smile and it made everything okay. 

Fast forward to week 18, almost 19 of pregnancy: The Anatomy Scan. 

There was a little bit of anxiety for this appointment. I don't know if it was friends who had gotten bad news at anatomy scan or because I keep waiting for bad news. As awful as that is, (and I know I should stop it) I think it's a side-effect of the accident. I occupied myself that morning before the appointment by putting a big piece of baby furniture together.

We got news our little girl looked good and healthy! Music to our ears. We saw baby move (something we always like to see), listened to her strong heartbeat, and watched as the tech measured and examined each part of her body. All her parts measured average. Brain looked good. Heart had four chambers. Spine looked "beautiful" as the tech said.   

We got double confirmation it was a girl. Jimmy said he still wasn't convinced... (although, whatever, he was). The med assistant we were talking to said that the ultrasound tech at the practice had been there for 30 years and has never been wrong. That's quite a record.

Baby girl had her legs crossed and was sucking her thumb. She looked pretty chill hanging out in there. 


I was floating on air looking at my ultrasound pictures of MY DAUGHTER. 

What a wonderful day. Until reality slithered back in and slapped us both silly.

We arrived at home and pulled in the parking garage. Jimmy's chair died just as he was about to make his way out of the van. His electric chair. His 500lbs electric chair. It's been having problems, although hasn't acted up to this extent. We've been waiting for some parts to come in.

Although it's not a battery problem, usually getting his chair fully charged somehow can help these weird errors we've been seeing.

I sent the nurse up to get the charger while I sat with Jimmy. We waited and waited. She eventually came back down -- without the charger. She said she couldn't get the door unlocked. 

We later found out she went to the wrong floor in a panic. 

Sigh.  

I went and got the charger but it didn't work. Still stuck.

During that time, Jimmy started getting secretions and needed to be suctioned. So he's stuck and coughing. Not good. I was trying to think straight. 

We used the power inverter in the car for his cough assist machine but it wasn't pulling enough power to properly function. Couldn't clear his lungs. 

We put his chair in manual push mode and started pushing his chair to the elevator. I'm acutely aware I shouldn't have been doing that, but was left without options. (In hindsight, of course, I have come up with some less physically taxing options.) 

We got him upstairs and to our door. We couldn't get him over the metal threshold.. Just couldn't. I hadn't eaten lunch. I was shaky from that and pushing him. We were able to plug up the cough assist and suction him on the front stoop. And then we finally were able to get his chair charging. We got him enough juice to cross into the apartment. And then, another error on the chair. At least we were in the apartment, although just barely. 

Then, he started to get dizzy. Usually tilting back will solve that issue. Can't do that in a dead chair though. So I propped his legs up on mine, another solution for helping low blood pressure. We sat there in our foyer, with his legs up on mine. Him stuck. Me sweaty and weak. Both of us starving. 

 
I sent the nurse down to the van to get the food we had gotten on the way home. 

Chipotle had never been so good. 

Foyer lunch. 

What a day. All I could do was laugh at what had just happened. After I cried, of course.

HAPPY BABY STUFF and then? Reality: "Uhm, come back down to Earth, you guys.You still have to deal with this stuff, too." 

This crazy, crazy life.