I know how much he wants to hold her. I know he wants to blow raspberries on her belly. I know he wants to tickle her and toss her up in the air. I know he wants to help bathe her. I know he wants to feed her, change her diaper, and push her in the stroller. I know he really wants to hold her as she sleeps on his chest. I know he wants, so badly, to take the reigns when I'm exhausted, mentally broken, and in tears.
I know the physical limitations he is up against. I know he's working through the tough stuff... the "not-ables." I know it hurts, even when he doesn't say it. I also know he's finding his own, unique ways to parent without functioning arms, legs. He's adjusting, healing, and learning as we go. I know he will perfect it. Maybe soon it won't seem as hard as it is right now.
I know she loves him so much. When he's not here, she walks her walker as far as it will allow as she reaches the terrain that is the carpeting in his room looking for him. I know she lights up upon the sight of him. I know she loves to crawl all over him in the morning. I know that she thinks his SCI-world is all too exciting. SO MANY TOYS. Better than anything I could possibly get at a store.
I know there is so much he wants to do, but can't. I know there is so much he can do, and does. I know there will be so much more for them to do together as she grows.
Here's what I know about my husband: that he maybe wanted a boy when I got pregnant. I also know he'd never trade these sweet baby girl moments for anything. Spencer forces him to rise to the occasion. She's his joy. His reason. His love.
A father-daughter bond that's already strong as oak.