Type Thoughts Here...

I Now Know What An HDMI Cable Is...

2012-01-29T10:12:00.017-05:00

After Jimmy's crash, after the slow healing started -- I realized I had to get back to real life. I had to take care of our household.

I had to do lots of digging to find out how to pay Jimmy's bills. I am so beyond grateful that he's organized and kept a list of what bills need to be paid and when.

I had to take over paying our utility bills. Jimmy was really good about just telling me what I owed and when.

I had gotten really used to that.

Another thing I had gotten used to after living with Jimmy for years: his cooking. I was always a decent cook. Average at best. Not great, not horrible. Jimmy comes into my life and blows me out of the water. He can do that thing with the frying pan where you flip loose veggies (or whatever) in the air.

Amazement.

His specialty is grilling meats, as you may know. I hate I never had him teach me how to grill. For some odd reason, I'm scared of grills. Jimmy would have nipped that one in the bud with one learning session, had I asked.

I got comfortable with the fact that I'd never have to do that. That was his thing.

Other things that he did, that I often didn't: took out the garbage, stood in line at the post office, cooked the majority of the things we ate, budgeted, hooked up anything with wires, installed things, fixed computers, unclogged drains... the list goes on.

I was sad about these things for months. He took pride in being able to manage half the household, if not more.

But I took control, head on. That's what was needed.

Now I'm at a place where I can appreciate it all. I've learned so many new things. And thank God, I have the wonderful presence of my wonderful husband to verbally guide me along the way.

I made an entire Thanksgiving dinner -- all by myself! I shocked myself with this one.

Jimmy totally would've done this himself. Especially the bird.

I sat down, decided what I wanted to make, and freaking did it. Much of it homemade, mind you.

I now know what an HDMI cable is, where it goes, and why you need it! Jimmy has even shared with me the website where you can purchase these pricey cables for dirt cheap.

I have taken over all of the bills, and managed to improve our credit scores. I've created a master filing system. I have a desk now. (I also have a cute little teal stapler and purple paper clips.)

I have cooked meats! Pot roast, pork tenderloin, chicken, beef... (Not nearly as good as Jimmy's, though.) I made homemade eggplant parmesean! I made my favorite soup that Jimmy always used to make for me. It was edible and everything.

I haven't grilled yet, but I know Jimmy will teach me when the time comes.

I've learned my way around this crazy town. Well, for the most part. And with the help of my TomTom. When we get a car, I'll be able to get us around. That's kind of huge for me.

I now know what an NFL insider does, and even follow one on Twitter. What? I watch more SportsCenter than I EVER EVER EVER thought I would. You might even call me a sports fan.

Might.

I have a favorite player, and know his signature touchdown move. I guess I even have a favorite team, even if it's via marriage. Jimmy bought me a sports hoodie. A really cute one. I wear it on gameday. That's just crazy talk.

Before all this I didn't give a crap about sports. Most people know this about me.

Aside from the day to day stuff, I still deal with the paperwork that comes with anything accident-realted. Nurses, medication, Shepherd Center stuff -- all the while being there with Jimmy every step of the way so he's not alone.

All the new stuff he's learning, I'm trying to learn, too.

I'm learning and manage more than I ever though I would.

Full-time wife. Full-time housemaker. Full-time agent.

Morning

2012-01-26T10:37:00.001-05:00

I crawled into Jimmy's really small twin bed this morning for some morning husband cuddles.

And look... No vent!

He was currently not on the ventilator when we took this picture.

And look... No make-up. Eek. :)

My Night in Paris

2012-01-20T10:33:00.013-05:00

While Jimmy was hanging with the guys at Philips Areana for the game, I was boozing it up in France

Not really.

But boy did us girls do it up right at this fabulously wonderful place in Buckhead called Bistro Niko.

A little slice of heaven right here in Atlanta. The place was absolutely packed. Even the bar... it was hard to order a drink while we waited. I keep forgetting that there are millions of people here in this city, and they like to eat big. All days of the week.

First of all, I should explain that I'm lately obsessed with Paris. The images, the food, the language. I want to be there.

This place was perfect for me to 'get away.'

My food truck-ownin' friend and I went. The good thing about Jamie is -- because of her recent culinary explorations, she is a fellow foodie.

She appreciates butter, cream and cheese just as I do.

We ordered a massive appetizer spread.

These cheesy butter croissant balls....

a bacon onion tart...

and pork shoulder spread.

Yes, PORK SHOULDER SPREAD.

Jamie wanted to try something we normally wouldn't. Next to this item on the menu read 'Very French."

I tried it. It wasn't horrible. Tasted a little like tuna. But you know... "When in Rome...." (or a restaurant in Atlanta that has foreign-ish items on the menu.)

Dinner was devine.

I had twin tenderloins with brandied musroom cream sauce and sauteed spinach. Jamie was adventurous and tried the veal that was recommended. This is a picture of my food... I forgot to take a picture of it before I dove in.

Can I just tell you about what we had to drink? Jaime introduced me to an awesome new liquor awhile back called St. Germain. It's an Elderflower liquor that is so, so, SO good. And mixed with champagne, it's even better.

These folks here at the Bistro have a signature drink that consists of St. Germain, champagne and club soda. And these are few of my favorite things.

All throughout dinner, we kept saying... "Jimmy would love this..." or "Jimmy would order this..." I missed him so much. Eating out was one of our favorite things to do. New, fancy, fun places. He loved to take me out.

Mark my words though, we will get him there.

For dessert, our wonderful waiter recommended the hazelnut tea cake to me. I think a different day I would have loved it. But that night, I wanted something creamy and rich, perhaps chocolately.

Of course Jamie got something chocolately and yummy looking. Dang it.

What a wonderful night it was. We were the last one's in the dinning room. Closed it down!

What Qualifies?

2012-01-14T00:07:00.004-05:00

Someone today texted me and asked... "Are you having a good day?"

It got me thinking... What's a good day, these days?

Well, this morning we had a good business-type meeting. Business in the morning... shouldn't it be that way?

Then I decided to go to the mall. Jimmy needed a new pair of jeans, and I had a gift card!

It's always dangerous when I do that. I think I can get tons because of a $30 gift card.

But I love to bring back Jimmy little surprises. He always used to do that for me. He loved to surprise me. Still does, actually.

He lives for the reaction.

Anyways, I got him a new hat, some jeans (because he's slowly starting to wear more of those) and a shirt.

When I came home, Jimmy was off the ventilator! He was so proud to tell me that he had been off for two hours. He said, "I feel good." That's after the hour he did in the morning. Sometimes going off the ventilator makes him feel not so good, so this is a plus. He also pointed out that his voice is getting stronger while off the vent. That's a good sign, as well.

He got back on the vent, and said he wanted to play on his computer.

This week, Jimmy got his new computer with voice-activated software.

He is still learning it -- it's gonna be a process. But he can totally do Facebook, read the news, etc -- all by himself.

Then we had dinner and watched TV and visited with our Atlanta friends before heading off to bed.

That to me -- qualifies as a good day.

Clean Shaven

2012-01-11T21:26:00.007-05:00

We recently lost one of our caretakers that we loved. He's going back to school to become a Physical Therapist's Assistant.

What we loved about Jonathan, among so many other things, is that he groomed Jimmy's head hair on the regular.

He shaved him and cut his hair like every other Friday. How awesome is that? We didn't even ask him to do it.

With Jonathan gone, Jimmy started getting a little... grizzly.

I decided it was time.

I've shaved him before, but it was back when he was an inpatient at Shepherd.

There's something fantastic about shaving your husband and helping him to feel SO MUCH BETTER.

He was so itchy for him.

And of course it breaks my heart that he can't scratch.

He's got this 'dry skin here, oily skin there' issue that makes not having a beard preferable.

I was happy to do it. And how handsome does he look?

Mountains of Adjustments

2012-01-08T23:54:00.001-05:00

There are so many new things in our new life we are still adjusting to.

Saying goodnight to my husband and parting for my own separate room is certainly one.

When I was scouting out new apartments for Jimmy and I here in Atlanta, I had to look for one comparable to ours back in Greenville. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms.

We made the decision to stay -- and to get the apartment.

Then, as we started to get closer to discharge date from The Shepherd Center, we realized Jimmy would be getting his own hospital-type bed.

Then, came the supplies. There are so many supplies.

Jimmy requires a lot of care, 24-hour care.

He gets turned every few hours, nurses check on him to see if he needs a drink, medication, etc.

So, we knew when we got the apartment Jimmy would need his own space because of that.

Someone along the way told me (because I really had no clue how to set things up at home) that I needed my own room, and Jimmy needed his own room.

Foreign concept. Especially considering that we're now newlyweds.

That person was right. Although I didn't want to believe it.

When we got home, things were so fragile, crazy, scary -- it was 100 MPH all day, everyday. So many different people were trying to learn Jimmy's medical needs, his routine.

It was one of the hardest things we ever had to do.

If I didn't have my own sanctuary, I would have lost my freaking mind.

I understand that now.

But, things have calmed down. And I still have to say goodnight to my husband, and go into my bedroom.

The bedroom that has our bed, our bedroom suit, bedside tables, etc. It's our stuff.

Maybe if I got all NEW stuff , I'd feel better. Wink, wink.

There are so many other mountains that we have to climb together. But for some reason, this has become one of my own little personal mountains.

Things just happen to hit me so hard at night, and I don't know why. The harsh reality of what has happened to us punches me in the gut as I walk into my bedroom every single night.

Day time, fine. Night time, tears, tough memories, reality.

Luckily, this has been a huge learning experience for us. We have talked about ways to make this not so hard when we get a bigger place, bigger beds in the future.

Being able to lay in bed with my husband, forcing him to watch horribly bad TV is something I absolutely cannot wait to do.

There are measures I now know to take... Friends, Khloe & Lamar, That 70's Show, stuff on TBS. ...TV helps.

And writing helps.

Tonight, apparently peanut cups are helping, too.

Chocolate and peanut butter and Chandler. My saviors.

Six Degrees of an Impulse Purchase

2012-01-05T21:37:00.002-05:00

1) Bad day = 2) Dining in at Mexican restaurant = 3) Tequila = 4) TJ Maxx really close to restaurant = 5) I shouldn't have come here = 6) Impulse buy(s).

But aren't they pretty?

Will it? Yes.

2012-01-05T01:23:00.002-05:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaclynejaclyne/

Nana

2012-01-04T00:20:00.002-05:00

I wonder what my Nana would do, how she'd handle something like this.

Would she tell me she constantly feels for me, that's she's sorry this happened to me, or would she be strong, and help hold me up?

Would she tell me I was born to play this role?

Would she she tell me I've been training for this my whole life?

Or would she cry for me and to me a whole lot?

Maybe a little of both.

It's the hard times like these that make miss her dearly.

I know I'd hear from her more than once a month. Maybe even more than once a week. She'd be so involved, whether I asked for it or not.

That much I know.

What I also know is that there is a lot of her inside of me.

And my mother.

I've got the spirit of strong family women inside my soul... and for that I'm very lucky.

Those strong women are also sensitive, and smart.

I've learned a little from all of them, and have perhaps been using that to build my toolbox my whole life.

I've been packing for this.

This is it. This is no doubt the hardest thing I've ever had to do. To be strong, and not completely run away from this scary, scary thing.

Reaching into my toolbox every step of the way.

Jimmy Breathing

2011-11-17T10:11:00.002-05:00

This photo is from when Jimmy was taken off the ventilator, for the first time during since his August 8th accident. He used only his DPS device.

There are no tubes hanging from his chest!

It was pretty amazing.

Together

2011-11-16T23:47:00.001-05:00

I need a reminder.

A New Normal

2011-10-23T15:11:00.003-04:00

Someone said to me, "Just know there will be a new normal. Old normal is gone. Just adjust to it, and go with it."

As I grocery shopped alone last night I thought a lot about this.

I'm just not ready to let go of old normal.

Maybe one day I will be.

Anatomy of a Jewelry Box

2011-06-25T01:25:00.009-04:00

This is my jewelry box... well part of it. I was unpacking and reorganizing it when I realized how much of my life all of this represents and how many stories it all tells.

Front and center: Engagement ring, and wedding ring. Placed in the box Jimmy had monogrammed with my new initials when he proposed.

To the right of that: Gold Charm necklace. This I made while we were on our honeymoon in New Orleans at The Bead Shop. It has a gold disk on it with our wedding date and our initials, as well as a key, a gold feather and a heart.

Top Center: Satin Flower. I wore two of these in my hair on my wedding day. There's no telling where other one could be.

All Around: Earrings. I have so many earrings in which I've gotten over the years, and were given to me as gifts. I love looking at all these thinking about where I've worn them, and where I got them. I've got them in all sizes, but lately have been wearing the big, round ones a lot.

Center: Other Rings. My wonderful ring collection. I still have weird, plastic, beachy rings, my class ring, rings passed down from Mom and Nana... my lovely costume rings that use to dorn my left hand pre-engagment and silver rings that used to be really in, that are now waaay tarnished.

Second drawer, on the right: Real, REAL pearls. My mother gave these to me as a gift when I graduated college. One of the few real things in this box. I treasure these, and rarely feel as if my clothes are good enough to match.

Right to the left of the pearls: A gold sapphire necklace. This is a little treasure that Jimmy got me one year for my birthday. I forgot about this and was excited to re-discover it.

Third drawer: Chunky bracelets. Love my bracelets. I got a new one while on Honeymoon, then two more gold bengals on sale at the mall. It appears I'm into gold now, which I never thought possible.

I can't talk jewelry without talking these: My grandmother's earrings. I always would sneak in Nana's room and clip these sparkly suckers on while growing up. I remember them being a lot bigger when I was little, but wasn't everything? When my Nana passed and my mother cared about treasuring her real jewels, I cared about these. They are the only thing I asked for. I got a few other things, but these... these are good.

To Tweet on the Honeymoon: Weird or Expected?

2011-06-02T01:26:00.005-04:00

We're halfway through 2011. Times have changed. The world is fueled by social media. I check my Twitter feed like ten times before I even get out of the bed.

Tonight Jimmy mentioned that the brewery for my favorite beer was located in New Orleans. I got really excited, but what's sad is that I immediately thought about being able to "check-in" at really super fun places -- like the Abita brewery.

Omg. I'm lame-o.

Really?

It IS my honeymoon. I should disconnect. I should leave my phone turned off.

However.

It's New Orleans -- not Fiji. It's a few states away. We won't be on an island. We'll be on Bourbon Street. And I refuse to not have my phone with me for safety reasons. Yeah, safety reasons.

My phone... it's an addiction. I don't mean to sound like the commercial but if you don't have an iPhone you don't understand. I know, snob. It's life-changing. I have fears about my phone falling in water all the time. I think a friend recently looked at me funny when I stepped away from a fountain while texting... eventhough I wasn't standing that close.

I'm getting palpatations just thinking about it.

So the point is... I need to deal with my addiction while in New Orleans.

Can I tweet on my honeymoon?

I know what you're going to say.

You're going to say... I'm extra lame-o for wanting to be on my phone when I should be spending quality time with my new husband.

To that I say... I knooooowwwwwww.

Ugh.

10 Days

2011-06-01T13:14:00.000-04:00

Hand Made

2011-05-21T17:41:00.002-04:00

I decided to hand-write my placecards for the wedding. Luckily with the help of a calligraphy pen -- not that what I'm doing should be called calligraphy -- I think they came out okay.

I had an ugly experience with prices at Kinkos today... and decided to put my handwriting to work.

A Bittersweet News Week

2011-05-05T11:34:00.012-04:00

It was an exhausting, bittersweet news week.

The Royal wedding excited the whole world.

It allowed us to live inside a much anticipated fairytaile as it all came together. Watching Kate Middleton was a dream. So perfect on every level. William and his new bride consumed then world.

Then Sunday came. The capture of the world's most-wanted terrorist. The globe was consumed yet again, but in a completely different way.

I love that I was able to grab a snapshot of each of these monumental events via magazine covers.

I've lived through some pretty historial events.

Closet Floor

2011-02-26T13:43:00.008-05:00

Does everyone else's closet floor look like this?

I force myself to sit there twice a year to straighten this mess, but it always ends up reverting back into this nasty pile of shoes.

It looks like a corner in the Salvation Army.

Ah well.

Stuck

2011-01-31T21:10:00.004-05:00

It was a Saturday night.

I was home.

I had a rare two glasses of wine.

Jimmy was gone for the weekend.

It was me, TiVo, chick-flicks, dinner... and that yeah, that wine.

I started flipping through my latest BRIDES, casually watching Drew Barrymore's latest love tale: Going the Distance.

I suffered from a sudden wave of excitement about thee wedding.

I got an idea.

That idea -- to try on my wedding dress.

It was the first time it's been out of the bag since I picked it up.

I stepped into the flouffy dress, excitement mounting.

I pulled it up, getting it in place, when suddenly I realized something was missing.

Something crucial.

I freaking needed someone to ZIP THE DAMN THING.

Ugh.

Alright -- no one around. What now? I need to see it on!

I took it back off.

Zipped it... then decided to pull it over my head.

Suck in, slip it on!

Not so fast.

It suddenly stopped.

I realized it was my, eh... speed bumps.

This train was stuck.

I pulled the ivory pile of material up... nothing.

I tugged down, nothing.

Really stuck.

I started pacing.

I started panicking.

I started to talk to myself, reasoning with myself.

"You don't want to die like this."

"Well, there could be worse ways to die."

"At least I'll be in a pretty dress."

"Oh my God, Jimmy is 4 hours away."

Alright think. I have to get out of this by myself.

More pacing.

My face was turning red.

This fucking dress was tight.

Breathe.

Either I cut it off... or reach my non-double jointed arm around my body, find the zipper and pull like I've never pulled.

And maybe a small promise to God that I'll go to church if he helps a sister out.

Option two.

Operation Arm Reach.

The way I got my arm all the way around my body, I'll never know.

It was painfully, but successfully executed.

God.

I unzipped, exhaled, and pushed the taffeta down to the ground.

I let out a big pissed-off sigh.

I felt like I had just been stabbed in the back by a best friend.

I looked down at my dress with anguish and ran out of the room.

After five minutes of thinking about forming wrinkles I ran back in the room and lovingly picked up the neglected garment.

I hung it back up and decided... we can remain friends but need some time apart.

We need a break.

Full Speed

2011-01-31T20:58:00.007-05:00

"Like an angry apple tree... I throw my apples when you get too close to me."

~Ingrid Michaelson
Lyrics from "Locked Up"

This Isn't It

2011-01-22T18:10:00.006-05:00

I produce newscasts for a living.

It's exhilarating and provides a huge adrenaline rush at times. You're always in the loop, usually ahead of the loop.

You know things before the rest of the world and it's amazing being at the center of what's happening and being able to deliver that first-hand account.

People ask me if I have power... I usually say no.

However, nightly I hand-pick what will air live at 11pm. I craft the mood, and tone in which our news is delivered operating under the guidelines and standards of our station/company.

Thousands of people watch. Thousands of people trust what we have to say and some of them, they watch every single night.

If they don't like it, they'll usually call and let us know about it. Usually in a completely rude manner.

But sometimes we get the kinder caller, who just wants to pass along a comment or concern.

It all comes down to money. Businesses won't advertise, unless the station can prove A LOT of people watch. That comes down to ratings. We have to get people to watch. And the managers who are my bosses will stop at nothing to make people watch. Which means new demands, new policies, and a whole lot of extra pressure.

Aye, the pressure.

My gynecologist said it best: Every job comes with it's stressors.

I can only imagine her vents at cocktail hour.

I guess what I'm getting at is... news is special. There is a special bond between those who have shed blood, sweat and tears in a newsroom. There is certain closeness between those who know what a VOSOT is.

News has made me an incredibly strong person. It takes a lot more for me to cry now. I have much thicker skin. I've met some of my best friends in the world in news. I wouldn't take any of my 7 years in news back.

But...

With all the pressure, and crying... (if you work in news, and try to tell me you haven't cried -- you are a big fat, fatty-fat liar. I used to have a favorite "cry stall" in the bathroom of my last station.) I just wonder... do I still love it, and is it still worth it?

I just don't know.

I'll be working at my current station for two more years, so I have some time to figure out what to do.

I think I'm starting to need a little more from what I do. I spend so much time and energy there. I deserve something other than wrinkles.

Maybe I'm just supposed to be doing something more.

But WHAT is it?

Dang.

Someone tell me.

Black Bean Brownies

2010-12-31T15:09:00.006-05:00

Wish I had a picture to post... ate these all up!

Ingredients:

15oz can of black beans
Brownie Mix (Any kind will do, but if you can find the No Pudge mix it's low fat)

Directions:

Open can of beans
Rinse, drain
Put beans back in can
Add enough water in can to just cover beans
Put in blender or food processor and puree
Add puree to brownie mix
Bake according to brownie mix instructions
No need to add oil or eggs, just the beans!

Personal Note:

I couldn't taste the beans at all in this recipe. I did think they were a little stickier than normal brownies, but knowing I was getting the good stuff from black beans while getting my chocolate fix made it worth it. I made mine in a muffin pan, and filled them nearly all the way to the top. They came out great!

Not Just One...

2010-12-29T18:53:00.006-05:00

Why just make one New Year's Resoultion when I can try for a handful?

Maybe If I do that, there will be hope, right?

Alright... Here goes:

1) Floss Daily.
I think this makes it on the list yearly.

2) Get Married.
I mean, come on. If nothing else, this will be the one. (Maybe I secretly put this it would work out that way.)

3) Have Thicker Skin at Work.
People suck sometimes. But I have to remember it's because of their own issues and not just me.
4) Stop spending useless cash, when I can be SAVING IT.
There's a concept.

5) Get back on track, and stick to my new healthy-eating, healthy-living lifestyle.
The holidays sucked. Why stop eating once I'm full, when there's food everywhere!? Ugh. My pants were working hard during the holidays.

6) Be better at keeping in touch with friends.
Too many old friends are falling through the cracks. I guess it's just life. People change, surroundings change. But at least I can try.

7) Start thinking about the future.
There's a fine line between living for today, and planning for tomorrow. I need to learn how to do both... equally.

I'm excited about 2011.

I'm getting married...
Then a month later I turn 30...
At least two of my friends are having babies...
So much is happening!

I welcome this wonderful year, and my next decade of life.

Flicks For Me

2010-12-25T23:31:00.006-05:00

I adore holiday movies. Ahhh-DORE.

And I make it a personal goal to get them all in before the Christmas gets here.

I started watching in November, but there's a few I didn't get to this year... although you wouldn't know it by this list.

While decorating the tree in very late November, we watched A Christmas Carol (The new animated one, with Jim Carrey) It was quite good.

I also got in...

Elf. Of course I had to watch this one at least three times.

I TiVo'd It's a Wonderful Life during it's annual run on NBC. I watched it at least two-and-a half times. I grew up watching black and white movies courtesy of Mom, and still Netflix them to this day. There's a slew of them I still need to see that are considered classics. I recently watched Shop Around the Corner, which is the inspiration for one of my favorite movies You've Got Mail.

AMC alternated White Christmas and the orginal Miracle on 34th Street on Christmas Eve. So as we put the last minute touches on the tables, and set the cookies out on the platters and cleaned like crazy people, we watched these two classics.

The weekend after Thanksgiving, while helping mom decorate her tree, we watched How the Grinch Stold Christmas. The movie. I also TiVo'd the original on TV.

Other little Christmas specials I recorded on TV and am not ashamed to admit I did:

Disney's Prep and Landing
Charlie Brown Christmas
Shrek the Halls
Frosty the Snowman
A Year Without Christmas (I haven't seen this one before this year, but was always told I needed to watch it.)
Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer

I know, I need a kid.

I'd better not forget A Christmas Story. I look foward to this TBS marathon almost as much as Christmas itself. I've never actually wanted to purchase this move, because I fear it would take away from the 8pm time period that I get excited for every December the 24th.

I of course bought Fred Claus when it came out. Love it.

Not sure if Love Actually is considered a Christmas flick, but I watch it only this time of year. And did this year, twice.

I actually purchased National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation this year because I was scared I'd miss it on TV. It barely made it here before Christmas, which gave me anxiety. But we watched it. Phew...

Christmas Day, AMC marathoned Scrooged. I think I was too full and distracted to watch the whole thing... but got enough in.

I didn't get to see Polar Express this year, and was sad about it. Our local cultural theater was showing it for cheap, but Jimmy says it's depressing and I couldn't get him to go. I secretly think he stopped believing at an early age... maybe it hits a little too close to home.

I also wanted to watch Family Stone, which is Christmas-esque. Maybe I'll watch that as I get ready for New Years fun, to squeeze it in.

It was a good Christmas movie year.

Serious Lack

2010-12-21T23:23:00.004-05:00

I'm noticing a serious lack of Christmas spirit this year, and it's depressing the hell out of me.

I've gotten a fraction of the Christmas cards I usually do. Where's the papery-love?

I understand that times are tough for a lot of people, and Christmas cards and mass postage could be where they're chosing to cut back. But, usually Christmas is that time of year when you hear from those folks in hard print -- you don't normally hear from any other time.

There are less well-wishes and happy new year notes from the higher ups at work, which makes work feel like... well, work at Christmastime. And who wants that? I'd prefer a slightly merrier atmosphere for a few days out of the year.

I gave someone a gift today who seemed... not excited to get a gift. It was pushed to the side and not opened. I don't give gifts to gain brownie points, but I live for those reactions.

My vacation starts today, and I'm hoping my 3.5 hour long ride home with Christmas music will help pump that holiday adrenaline through my veins.

When I walk into the front door of Mom and Dad's house and see TWO Christmas trees with presents spilling from beneath... I'm guessing THEN I will fill the Christmas spirit.

Mom's little holiday figurines and Dad's Griswold-ish outdoor lights should ignite that flame.

When Dad puts on the Santa hat to pass out presents... then I'll feel the Christmas present.

When the family gathers for a supremely-fattening Italian Christmas Eve dinner... I'll certainly be feeling the spirit. So will my pants... as they slowly tighten.

It's just right now... right this very moment... I don't feel it.

I'm officially off the clock at work, and so the journey home for the holidays begins.

Santa, get here quick!

Here Comes the Bride

2010-12-11T14:03:00.004-05:00

Soon.

As in six months TO THE DAY, soon.

What an exciting feeling. There's still a lot that needs to be done, but I'm ready. I'm so ready for it to just be here.

I can't believe I originally set out to get married in 2012. I'd be going nuts!

There is still a lot more money to be saved, decisions to be made, and cake to be tasted.

Is six months a lot? It doesn't feel like it. I guess to some it's a half of a year. To me... a very quick 180 days. Everyone keeps telling me it's going to fly by.

It actually already has, so far.

So mixed feelings: Nauseau... panic... anxiety.
With eagerness... happiness... and excitment.

My stomach and brain is a mixed bag of emotions.

I could puke or laugh at any given moment.

Oldie But A Goodie

2010-12-08T10:29:00.002-05:00

Just LOOK at the layers of hair.

So cute.

Makes me smile.

Harry and Sally

2010-11-14T19:25:00.001-05:00

The Lull

2010-11-13T22:43:00.004-05:00

Over the last month, I've pretty much stopped the wedding planning.

Halted.

I mean just stopped. Screw it! I have life to tend to. Work. Weight loss goals... etc, etc, etc!

Then I realized we're closing in on the SIX month mark. Holy shit balls.

And the other day, I got another BRIDES magazine in the mail... flipped it open... and have been on a non-stop bridal monster rampage ever since. I can't get enough. The magazine was delivered just as I was forgetting about... dare I say... my wedding. Gasp!

I've probably looked at 30 different Save The Dates styles... of course have my heart set on thee most expensive out of all the ones I've looked at.

1o different types of honeymoons... Maybe on our 10-year anniversary we can go to Ireland or cruise to Alaksa, or chill in Napa Valley.

Cakes.. oh the Cakes. Seriously. I want a bride & groom bobblehead as a cake topper. I know it sounds seriously tacky and cheeseball, but it's a really cool concept that is adorable. It's $189. Calm down, I know where my priorities lie.

Flowers galore. Man. Purple flowers are so pretty, and match NOTHING in my wedding.

Centerpieces. I do not want ugly 80's looking mirror things on my tables. But I haven't found the perfect... anything yet.

My mind is RACING. I'm obessing over things. But in a good way. And I am counting down the days until my dress comes in. It's gotta be soon. Ohhhhhhhh the dress. I see it in magazines all the time and I love it. But what if I don't like it? I mean when I try it on again. I'm not being irrational... that's a real bride fear. A legitamate one.

And I want to play with make-up and hair... I want to try on red lipstick!

Oh it's just gonna come so soon.

And After the New Year, I have a feeling it will fly by.

Whole

2010-10-28T12:02:00.002-04:00

The challenge is not to be perfect, but to be whole.

~Jane Fonda

Weight Loss Parallels

2010-10-24T13:09:00.003-04:00

My great weight-loss journey has begun. I'm nearly 10-pounds down, and I'm still going strong.

It's very, VERY tough, but being able to look forward to pizza once a week, makes it worth it. GAH -- Pizza. I just love, love, love it!

Sure a lot of this has to do with getting to the gown, but I need more energy to be able to deal work, and wedding planning. OMG. We're like eight months out. HOLY SHIT.

While I work on me, Mom is also working on she.

She's nearly 40 pounds down and looks like a different person. One day... with her some 9 back surgeries, several neck surgeries, Diabetes, Multiple Sclerosis... she got on a bike, and never looked back.

The crazy woman rides like four miles a day on a bike!

The pounds are melting off. There's no doubt she'll be asking to borrow my clothes soon. She's on a mission and it's kind of inspiring.

I can't let mom be skinnier than me, but she's certainly gonna try.

Wedding Planning Update

2010-10-13T11:06:00.003-04:00

Okay eight months until the "I do's."

Time for a progress check!

We've got:

The location
My dress
The bridesmaid dresses/shoes picked out
The photographer
The DJ

Okay well in my head it seemed like a lot done.

The list keeps growing. Ah, will I ever get it done?

Here's some thoughts that are swimming through my head about other stuff:

I think I decided to do a candy table as favors. Candy can be so PRETTY. And it's a good way to display some of my key wedding colors. And who doesn't love candy?

Something came up, and one of my bridesmaids won't be able to be in the wedding. So sweet Jimmy suggested to have the wedding videoed so she could feel like she's there. We decided against that at the get go to save cash, but he thinks we can get a deal.

We pretty much decided what wedding ring we'll be getting Jimmy. Thank you Brides magazine.

I'm going back and forth on centerpieces -- Floral, funky or fruit? Candles, mirrors or vases? We'll see how that one ends up.

I think I picked out the invites, but haven't nailed them down yet.

I lost 6.6 pounds! My wedding weight-loss journey continues, though.

There are some little projects that I want to knock out -- a ribbon wreath, and a some hanging paper balls. (Etsy is selling them for like $600. I'm determined to do them myself.)

Hair up for wedding with flower, hair down with flower for trash the dress session the day after?

Okay... I think that's it for now.

Overwhelming feelins setting in...

Control

2010-10-11T13:31:00.003-04:00

You can't control what others do.

The advice given to me by someone who spent a lot of money on therapy. That second-hand knowledge continues to help me tremendously.

People make their own paths, and while sometimes I think we're all hopping and skipping along the SAME path... someone makes a hard left, and POOF! They're gone.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out.

But, life goes on whether I get angry, sad, mad or blue.

So repeat as needed... You can't control what others do.

Ah, life.

2010-10-07T12:47:00.002-04:00

These are too good not to share.

These shoes are what my bridesmaids -- all 11 of them -- will wear.

Love , love, love them!

Practicing for Wifehood

2010-10-05T12:44:00.001-04:00

Since I don't know what a first down is... this is me trying to be a good fiance.

Look What Came in the Mail...

2010-09-22T13:42:00.002-04:00

They're napkins!

Now we HAVE to get married.

No turning back now....

For the Record...

2010-09-04T14:24:00.006-04:00

Only 280 days until I get married.
Ohhh the Excitement.

A Text From A Friend

2010-08-25T12:23:00.003-04:00

This is a text I got from a dear friend, who suffered a great loss. Her step-father died after a long battle with Cancer.

This text made me glad to be her friend and I want to keep it forever.

"Just came to Moe's for a change of scenery. A little nervous about tonight.... just getting upset seeing old friends and such. But I can't wait to sit around with all of you when we are 58-years-old and feeling so safe to be able to talk about anything, and everything and everyone sleeping in the same house at good times and bad. Xo."
~Amy Benton Kuenzel
August 20, 2010
2:45pm

Suffering a Loss

2010-08-25T11:59:00.008-04:00

A few weekends ago, I attended a funeral for Rod Shealy.

He was the step-dad of a very close friend whom I met in college, and remain very good friends with. Rod was that guy you loved to sit around with. He would don a hawaiian shirt, no matter the occasion. He'd have a cigar close by... a "brown liquor drink" and usually his guitar.

He liked a good time, and yes, after-hours Pancake/Waffle joints.

He taught us how to play roulette on his genuine eBay-purchased board. He mastered the art of saying "No More Bets" as the wheel would spin it's final rounds.

It wasn't until after college, when I realized that he was much more influential, than I could ever know. When I entered the world of TV news, I realized Rod was quite the politician. But even more than that -- a pretty bad-ass writer that I could look up to. He had a way with words, hence how good he was in politics.

His funeral was more emotionally draining than I could ever imagine. I had quite the back-stock of saline saved up.

Hearing his son talk about growing up with a dad like Rod was pretty amazing. I can't even imagine being able to face those people and actually tell funny stories about your parent that has passed.

I'm glad I went. It gave me the perfect opportunity to reflect on how Rod changed my life. And of course I wanted to be there for a very dear friend who lost a father, and her mother, who lost someone who WAS her life for so very long.

In that same day I got to spent a short amount of time with a friend's child who was days away from turning one.

Saying goodbye to a male figure I grew to love, and wishing a first Happy Birthday to another male who I have already grown to love.

Full circle.

Opinions

2010-08-08T14:43:00.006-04:00

I read on a wedding website that you should not talk about your wedding. You will get unsolicited opinions that will crush you.

That was the best piece of advice I've been given thus far.

People have made it abundantly clear when they don't like a color, location, dress, flower, centerpiece that I'm a excited about.

I even had someone look at my ring and say: "Um, well you can always go bigger for an anniversary."

Didn't know people said that out loud.

I happen to like my ring the way it is. It's a very special piece of jewelry that I will forever treasure.

If you know anything about me, it's the fact that I love getting things passed down that were once used in my family. The same goes for Jimmy's family. This ring on my finger has been around from Eisenhower to Obama.

I dare you to go bigger than that.

Don't get me wrong. I like getting advice from people close to me, or whom people's wedding judgement I value.

But when I tell them the colors... and I get a... "No, you should really incorporate some of this in."
Really.

Or when a close (very religious) family member asks me if I'm getting married in a church. Gulp. I knew this question was coming.

I give her my "It's not who we are as a couple," speech. And the "I don't want to lie to the church, and ourselves, and say were active Christians, when we're not, just to get married in a church" speech. It's really not the honest way of doing things, I believe. That's not to say that I won't continue going to church every now and then, and that I won't take my children to church.

It's seconds later, I'm called a heathen, and am told our children will be bastards.

There's the spirit.

Nothing like a bitter Betty to dampen the engagement bliss.

That's one of the harsher comments I've gotten.

Unfortunately for me, it was from someone who I've always looked up to.

I imagine this blog will deter anyone from ever giving me any opinions -- EVER -- again for my wedding.

My bridesmaids usually are the only ones who read this, so, if you do -- I vaule your opinion, judgement, and views.

You wouldn't be in my wedding, if I didn't.

Confession

2010-07-27T20:06:00.004-04:00

This wrapper used to have dark chocolate with almonds it in.

I found it half-eaten.. no... three-quarters of the way eaten in an old purse buried in my closet today.

As you can tell, there's now NO chocolate in the wrapper shown above.

YES, my name is Jaimie...

And I'm a chocoholic.

Big Blue Box

2010-07-22T11:15:00.002-04:00

Omg.

I got the big blue box.

Friends surprised me with this gem during dinner one day as an engagment gift.

Inside: Two champagne flutes.

NEVER thought I'd see this shade of blue in real life.

It's much more amazing up close.

It was a very special day.

My Life Now...

2010-07-11T12:23:00.000-04:00

The Boy I'm Gonna Marry...

2010-07-08T12:08:00.015-04:00

It's been a whirlwind of a week.

On Sunday, June 27th, James Moore proclaimed that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me in front of my closest friends in the world.

Of course I said.. Okay!

It wasn't surprising when it happened. His behavoir was kind of suspicious. He used every second I wasn't around to whisper to my friends about the plan... and then I found him acting really weird around a fake plant.

Just saying.

Looking back, the moments leading up to the proposal, the poor guy was doing a lot of sweating.. and hard-liquor drinking. He had his heads in his hands at dinner, and was apparently rocking back and forth.

I would have noticed had I not been pouding pomegrante vodka. But, hey, we were on vacation.

Actually, I think my reaction to the proposal itself would've been more raw, genuine - sans liquor.

I think I said something like... "Really? this is really happening NOW?"

Not that I didn't want it to happen "now" -- but was shocked that he was pronouncing his love during a game the group was playing while sitting around the living room of our beach house.

Ours was a Catch Phrase Engagement.

The moment was classic. Jimmy was the one tearing up, while I was seriously trying to not to laugh at him. He had tears, I had sarcasm. Not a shocker.

It was the moment when I was handed my first issue of Brides magazine with a hot pink cover when I started to tear up. But shhhh.. don't tell my Groom-to-be that.

I will say, he pulled out quite the box in which the ring was held. The ring (which is gorgeous, vintage-looking and meaningful) has been passed down, so the originial box was too old for presentation purposes.

He had one made with my new initials. He did a really good job.

So now it begins. The planning, dieting and saving. But whenever I think about the fact that I'm engaged -- a wave of joy takes me over. I no longer have to introduce JM as my boyfriend. It's fiance. And will be for a few years.

I need time.

But, I was engaged a week and one day before I went and tried on dresses.

It's very odd to be the one in the white. My life has been spent following trains making sure their straight, holding bouquets, and OOhhhing and AAAahing the bride. (Ever seen 27 dresses?)

So, it's really MY turn? SHUT up.

The Life of Unwanted Chocolate

2010-06-20T19:13:00.007-04:00

This should be a crime.

I mean, not a felony, but certainly a misdemeanor.

And is that a Reese's wrapper underneath?

This is just hard to look at.

The Conan Effect

2010-06-15T14:38:00.023-04:00

It was a pretty cool thing to see Conan O'Brien live in Atlanta.

I remember watching him late at night in high school, laughing my ASS off, while my parents would scream from the other room, "What the hell are you watching?" They wanted to know so they could watch and laugh, too.

It didn't hit me until I watched the 60 Minutes interview he did.. I realized just how human and normal he really was. Yea, he's in show business, and yea he's on TV, but he really got crushed during the "late night fiasco" -- and it was tough to see someone always so positive, and upbeat - talk about being bruised and battered by the whole thing. I'm pretty sure I cried.

He had moved his family, moved his whole life across the nation for the thing he worked, perhaps his entire adult life for.

I admire how genuine he is. Seeing him live really hit that home.

He's someone that people have paid millions of dollars to see - and yet he remains so grounded.

He's seemed so thankful to have so many people come out to see him be silly. He honstly seemed humbled.

Of course, I had to sit next to the guy who screamed something random when it got quiet, so he'd be noticed by the folks on stage.

Yeah, that guy. He was damn sweaty, too.

I so adored the Conan-isms, of course: The string dance, the Walker Texas Ranger bit, the "Huhhhhhhhhhh?!?!, the stare face, the self-depricating humor, the goofy-big-red hair... but it was the five minutes when he got serious, that made me an even bigger fan.

I was happy to spend a good portion of my tax refund on him. I wouldn't do that for just anyone.

So, the next page in the Conan chapter turns. I cannot wait to watch the first night of his new show.

I'm sure I'll get chills when his name is announced (probably by Andy) for the first time on TBS, and he makes his Conan-like-entrance.

Isn't it amazing just how attached we get to celebrities?

Although, I hate to put Conan in that catagory. Because there are celebrities, and then there's Conan.

What a fun guy to work for, I bet. That'd be the gig.

Man.

Barf!

2010-06-07T01:06:00.004-04:00

I was listening to one of my favorite Cosmo radio shows on the way home tonight, and people were calling in to talk about their fears.

Some of the funnier calls: round haystacks, manholes, animatronics, putting their hand inside of a bread bag, sasquatch, sleeping bags, things with more than four legs and less than two (?), crickets, and finally... vomiting!

I think that's my fear! I realized tonight that I haven't puked in the entire time I've dated JM. What? That's three and a half years, people!

And why is that? I live my life to avoid BARFING. I hate hate hate it. I used to cry everytime I puked.

Tonight I was not feeling well at work. At all. I was battling a three day long migraine, and it turned into nauseau.. and whatever else..

When I thought I might puke.. I got real scared. I started to get the pre-puke sweats and.. oh my God, this might actually happen.

Swallow... burp.. drink water.. eat saltine. Okay, maybe I can hold it back.

I did.

Thank you sweet Lord. But omg.. that was close.

Fear of vomiting. Yep.

Scheduling Conflict

2010-06-03T19:32:00.004-04:00

Since JM and I moved here, we've both had the same days off, Monday and Tuesday.

I don't take for granted how lucky we were to both land jobs in the same business, in the same market, at the same time. Not to mention - having the same days off. We have people (in the business) tell us how lucky we are all the time. We were very lucky.

But soon, those days of hand-holding downtown strolling may be nearing an end.

JM has taken a M-F schedule for the summer months, and I am still on my W-Su shift. This would be fine in about three months when our schedules would once again realign, however, now possible news of a shift change for me! (Nothing concrete, yet)

This whole time I've been working weekends, I have felt as if I were missing out. Family events, festivals, things happening on the WEEKEND.

When I took the job, It was the first time in six years I've had to go to work on a Saturday or Sunday. The first time in six months I don't look forward to Friday as everyone else does.

My TGIF comes on a Sunday night.

But, now as having weekends off becomes a semi-reality in the future, I'm actually not looking forward to it.

What am I gonna do all by myself?

What's the point of having a boyfriend if you can't have days off together?

Okay, that's a bit extreme, but STILL.

Jimmy's logical explaination: That's what you get new jobs for, to work your way up. So maybe since he's also the low man on the totem pole, he'll work his ways up as well?

A reason the news business can suck: scheduling.

Dorito Pie

2010-05-31T01:22:00.010-04:00

Jimmy got this recipe from someone at work. I mean, look at it. It's a disgusting mixture of
Doritos, cream of mushroom soup, cheese, chicken, and I think rotel.

And yet, I didn't hate it.

Dorito Pie? What kind of fat-filled southern culture do we live in where Dorito Pie is an actual recipe that you exchange with co-workers?

Clearly, it was a hit in the Reda/Moore household. The proof is in the pudding. Although my stomach now feels like pudding.. and my thighs.. and my behind..

Oh Dorito Pie, you are grossly munchable.

It's Nice to Meet You, Grumpy.

2010-05-26T00:25:00.006-04:00

The latest addition to my wine glass collection.

My World Just Shook A Little

2010-05-21T20:49:00.008-04:00

Today, within an hour, I learned that two married couples we know, are splitting up.

One couple, married 10 years with 3 kids.

The other couple didn't get to celebrate their first wedding anniversary.

Jimmy and I attended this wedding. We saw them exchange their vows. We danced with their family and ate their Italian (magnificent) themed dinner. We took shots of Sambuka from the ice luge they picked out together. We STILL have a miniature bottle of Tabasco served with some seafood appetizers. I wanted to keep it, instead of eat it. It sits on our stove. I still have pictures from this wedding on my camera. I looked at them 2 weeks ago.

But what's worse? 10 years and 3 kids, or having the wedding still fresh in your head cause IT JUST HAPPENED. Both to me, are equally as heartbreaking. As much as everyone says it's probably for the best, it feels like the worst.

My parents split when I was too young to understand, so I was never devastated by that news. I am devastated by this news, eventhough I hear nothing but bad news all day at work.

If I can be selfish for a moment, I guess it's just hard to hear, especially since the "M" word has come up in several conversations lately.

These couples are a statistic now. And the numbers are adding up. And it's just... discouraging is all. But I do know life goes on. It always has a way of working out.

But by the way...

I'm NEVER getting married. Although a dear friend assures me, "You will get married, and you will make it work."

My world shook after this getting this news.

Not crumbled, just shook.

House Divided.

2010-05-16T11:30:00.005-04:00

This is far beyond any Gamecock v. Clemson rivalry. As you may know, Jimmy and I work at competing stations yet again, as we did in Myrtle Beach.

Our morning coffee has become a ratings war.

Me - 15. Him - 13.

Me - 7. Him - 4.

Failure?

2010-05-14T20:31:00.012-04:00

There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them. ~Tom Krause

Life is hard. For everyone, I know. I mean, if you say life is easy, I can't even talk to you, because YOU ARE A LIAR.

Lord knows I've done enough complaining and venting on this blog.

Between fights with friends, work stress, and other added problems, my stomach has been the equivalent to what a 14-year-old's room looks like. A mess. With shit everywhere. Pun intended.
Moving here and taking a new job at a bigger TV station, in a bigger city was incredibly scary. And there have moments where I questioned the move. I had the world's largest comfort zone at home. World's largest.

I've been at this station/city for 5 months now and have met some new, colorful people. (Some bitchy ones, too.) I've learned a heck of a lot. But I was forced to learn by being thrown to the wolves. My first two weeks here, I was expected to do things that I never imagined I'd be doing.

Getting up to speed, and getting there, fast. No pressure. Except, there was A LOT of pressure.

Stomach = knots. Hard, hard, hard.

I never thought I'd make it. I almost gave up and walked away. Who needs work?

Oh yeah, I do. Effing bills.

My first 30-days here were the toughest, perhaps, of my life. After working in one newsroom for 6 years, and then suddenly having a whole new set of rules, policies, technical must do's.. aye. I was a crying baby at home after work a lot of days.

Thank God for Jimmy and how he kept reassuring me that I was bettering myself and that I would get it.

Looking back, I know the pain was necessary. The failures I made, I learned from. And It made me better, now months later. Maybe I'll be even better in a year or two.

I feel like I went through a rehab program, and have recovered.

Looking from the outside in, watching myself evolve.

Oh, Amelia..

2010-04-28T20:07:00.005-04:00

Oh what a movie.
And Hillary Swank, just so phenomenal in portraying her image.

I love Amelia. And idolize the bravery and courage about her. I wonder where else her will would have taken her, if she didn't mysteriously disappear that day in 1937. What else would this great woman of American history go on to have accomplished?

What a heartbreak.

With all do respect, Amelia, you were very stubborn. Something I can relate to.

When someone told you it's never been done, and 14 others died trying, you went.

When someone told you, you'd most likely die, you went.

And that, I guess, is how we've gotten to where we are today. Courage and the will to pave the way for others.

It is inspiring. That's for sure. You've done your job.

Amelia had a husband at home who adored her. He was someone she loved very much, as well. This was to be her last flight, then she would come home.

I started watching this movie forgetting how it would end. Tragically, pretty much.

I wanted a happy ending so bad. I wanted her to win! I wanted her to go on loving. You can't rewrite history, though. You can only learn from it.

She always knew it was a risk and yet still pushed forward. Always wanting more. Always aiming higher.

Oh, Amelia.

I just love you.

"I'd rather face a watery grave than go on living as a fraud. "
~Amelia Earhart

A Few of my Favorite Things

2010-04-24T10:41:00.008-04:00

in no particular order..

Getting new magazines in the mail
Toasted coconut coffee
Fresh cut grass
The smell of new construction
Tivo
Candles
My lunch box
The Office
Twitter
My Lolita wine glasses
Wedding receptions
Seeing new babies sleep
Sunday mornings
A day spent inside
Peanut butter & banana sandwiches
TJ Maxx
The smell of Starbucks
Days off
My Blackberry
My friends
Family events
Pastries
Madison and Makayla
Getting greeting cards in the mail
Making headway on bills
Cookouts
Fresh cut flowers
Yard sales
Peyton, Luke and Aiden
The news
Pay day
Walmart
Making a big fuss out of other's birthday's
Bargains
Bubble baths
Ingrid Michaelson
The Beach
Late night talk show humor
Perfume
Christmas
Satellitte Radio
Fresh mountain air
My bookshelf
Breakfast
Jimmy
Smooth days at work
Aprons
Red wine
Chipper maintenance men
Non-clutter
Good food

Friend Notes

2010-04-14T12:54:00.005-04:00

When you're down in the dumps, sometimes it takes notes like these to realize that life is worth living, and living well.

My friend Kim sent me this, when she knew I needed it the most.

For what it is worth:

1) you are a thoughtful friend. you send texts, cards, and flowers at the times when your friends need it
2) you make your friends laugh.
3) you see things from all angles and don't have a narrow point of view
4) you are fun to be around
5) you are sooooo pretty
6) you always smell good

I am proud that you are my friend!

And we know there's a bad list somewhere, but bless her soul for choosing not to sent that one.

Friends Rock.

What I know about James Walter

2010-04-09T20:31:00.007-04:00

My Significant Other:

1. He's: Working, like me.
2. You're out to eat, what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Bleu Cheese
3. What's one food he doesn't like? He seems to like it all. No really, I think he does.
4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? Bud Light, or Oatmeal Stout
5. Where did he go to high school? Freedom High School
6. What size shoe does he wear? 10
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Press Passes
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Prime Rib or a good ole' Bacon Cheeseburger
9. What would this person eat every day if he could? See above.
10. What is his favorite cereal? Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch
11. What would he never wear? A Duke Shirt
12. What is his favorite sports team? Tie: Tarheels, Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots
13. Who did he vote for? Obama
14. Who is his best friend? He has several, but gonna have to go with Mike Turner.
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Stink up the bathroom and leave the door open!!!!
16. What is his heritage? Portugese
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Cheesecake
18. Did he play sports in high school? Soccer!
19. What could he spend hours doing? Watching sporting events on tv, lord help me.
20. What is one unique talent he has? He's quite the lensman.

The End.

2010-04-06T13:54:00.013-04:00

Things can't always be as they were. I'm slowly realizing this as I continue to fight for a friendship that may already be gone.

Said friend writes ambigiously on her Facebook wall: "Friendships can't be fueled by memories."

No, no they can't said friend.

Nice job trying to get that message out without acting like it wasn't directed right at me.

Is it okay to let it go? After 7 years in the making? After journeying through hell and back? Even if I feel I've invested way too much of myself into it? I feel like I've put almost finished a jigsaw puzzle that's only got a few pieces left. And I'm walking away.

I need a therapist.

Is it okay go against the grain, and fight to keep something alive, that I guess has already been slipping through my fingers all along?

I guess it's time.

There's only so much you can do, I suppose. But this realization comes after months of a middle-school type fighting.

E-mailing - not getting responses back.

Texting - only to get one or two word responses, sometimes nothing at all.

Lauging louder, and acting so darn happy when an awkward meeting of the mutual friends including "said friend" and myself took place. Oh the maturity.

Did I try to call? Heck no. I don't like confrontation unless it absolutely necessary. I avoid talking on the phone as much as possible. So that's not an option until it has to be. I much prefer e-mail and text wars. There's a reason my work is done behind the scenes and not on camera.

But even after a phone conversation took place that was 3 months in the making: I got off the phone feeling pretty shitty about myself. I've never heard so many of my bad traits listed one of after the other -- to my face - in a matter of 45 minutes. Wow. I didn't know I had so many bad qualities. Thanks for that, I guess.

Okay. So maybe friendships aren't fuled by memories said friend. But seeing it in black and white, maybe you've helped me get the closure I need.

Maybe you just help me realize that I'm fighting for something that doesn't exist anymore.

So thanks, I guess.

For the cryptic FB message.

Now I can quit worrying. And realize that it is what it is.. and it can't be what it was. And my energy can be directed towards something much more healthier, like my current addiction of watching classic films. (Can't wait for Shop Around the Corner!)

So I guess we're in agreement.

The End.

But you get a whole blog post about it from me, instead of a measly little FB comment.

Yay!

You Don't Like Kids?

2010-03-23T23:11:00.005-04:00

These days, I'm on Twitter much more than Facebook, feels like. I get headlines faster, I get reaction to headlines faster, and I can find out what all of my Hollywood favorites are up, with one check of my Blackberry.

I still think it's very cool to follow a celebrity on Twitter. You get raw thoughts, feelings, and emotions. There's no other way to get a live feed of random thoughts that pop into say, Demi Moore's head. And a million of her other fans feel the same.

I follow a ton of news organizations, columnists, anchors, reporters, drummers, singers, actors, producers, writers, photographers - you name it. Recently, as I've become utterly obessed with Cosmo Radio on the Sirus satelitte radio that I cannot live without on my commute to work, I've been following my favorite radio talk show hosts that I've come to know and love.

Well, so I thought.

When you let someone into your car everyday for 30 minutes on the way to work, and 30 minutes on the way home, you find out what time certain shows come on, and you learn tons about the voices affiliated with those shows. I even thought about what their faces should look like in my brain, and after a few Google image searches, turns out I was way off.

So. Without sounding like a borderline stalker-listener, I've gotten to know, and grown to love several hosts. I follow them on Twitter, fan them on Facebook and when they say something that makes me laugh, find myself saying "Ah, that's so you, Taylor!" .. or whomever is chatting about top topics that day. I feel like I should know these people. I feel like they should be following ME on Twitter. I feel like we should all be friends. The end.

Except.

When are you following one of said radio hosts on the ole Twitter network, and one of them makes a comment that they.. "Don't like kids."

You don't LIKE kids?

Okay. Keep in mind I follow a lot of republicans, foul-mouthed folks, contrarians, etc. So I hear things that I disagree with all the time. It's a part of the whole reaction-to-world-events that makes Twitter so charming.

I don't know why this comment soured me, it just did. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And I even work in a business where we welcome ALL opinions. All sides to every story. But just like that, feel animosity towards this host now. I was already on the fence with some of the judgey-comments she makes and the incredibly high-horse she sits on as she hosts one of my favorite shows.

Howevs, this comment. You don't like kids. YOU DON'T LIKE KIDS?

I remember when one of my friends always said she never wanted kids because she didn't like them. Now, she has a very cute orange-headed little angel. :) Granted, she gets irked at almost every other munchkin that's not hers, but still. She went from not liking kids when we were teenagers, to having one. So it's okay. It's okay to be a teenager and not like kids. When you are over 30 and "don't like kids" it means they annoy you, and you are selfish. It means you are too good to recognize the innocence, playfulness, and wholesomeness - and joy little ones add to certain aspects of your life.

AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A KID. I just happen to love them. Very much.

As I look at the wonderful little humans my friends are raising, I can't help but wonder what they are going to be. What they are going to do when they get older. How they are going to influence this world. How they are going to lead this in this world. And how, they are going to want to make such a huge difference, that they will do just that.

When are you are over 30 and sit on your judgey high-horse saying you don't like kids, It makes me want to swim through the airwaves that I pay so much $ for, and punch you in the face. So insensitive. Honest, but incredibly insensitive. Especially when a ton of your viewers have, and adore their own kids.

These so called kids you don't like, could one day save your life. Could one day change the world you still live in.

If you want to be a public figure, fine. Great. Just be cautious of the 1,455 people who chose to follow you on Twitter and the way they lead their lives. The majority of them, with kids, I imagine.

You might piss one of them off with an off -the-cuff comment, which will then ineviatably move your magic Twitter number down to 1,454.

A Tweeting Idiot

2010-03-14T19:17:00.006-04:00

So, I sent out a NCAA March Madness-related tweet today.

It came down as an "AP Urgent" at work, and I got caught up in the excitement. And it was less than 140 characters.. and... I just sent it out.

But I don't really care about basketball. That is, unless I'm in a newsroom that does brackets. But I'm not, currently. So I immediately regretted sending it.

The stupid tweet wasn't even about local teams. It was about freaking Kansas. I've never been to Kansas. I don't think anyone in family has ever been to Kansas.

I wanted to take-back-tweet. But that's not a real-life option.

It's not like I was going to follow-up with any other b-ball tweets.. I had no clue what I was talking about.

And as the "Selection Show" continued.. people started tweeting tons about the "selections" and what have you. Then I realized I was in over my head. I had no idea what they were talking about.

TAKE THIS TWEET, FOR EXAMPLE:

fredontv (WSPA Anchor/Former Sportscaster) Tweets: "How do they take non-balanced conference sked into account when all conferences keep growing 12-16 teams? Let's just dump non-league games."

Wh? Wha? What?

What the HECK does that mean?

I tweeted out of my league today.

Feeling like a tweediot.

I wanted to write..

2010-03-12T21:12:00.005-05:00

I wanted to write a blog about how bitter I am at the world right now.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how some people suck ass so freaking bad. And how the anger gets more and more pent up with each passing day.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how I want to scream, and punch and spit and kick.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about the rain, and how cozy it makes one's living room and how it just doesn't help the mood swings.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about work. And my frustrations and fears.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about my future. Marriage. Kids. Life and death.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how, 28 years in, and everyday, I'm still unhappy with my body.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how unfair it is that I'm going to have to miss out on some major family events this year, because of my job and this business.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog defending myself. Defending my actions. Saying: I'm not wrong! I'm not the bad guy.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog telling my dearest friends how a lot of times I think about how I should've called, or should've asked more about things they are going through.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a blog about how sad I am. How much faith I've lost in people. And how I know it will all change when the sun comes out again.

But I won't.

I wanted to write a deep, dark, depressing blog.

But I won't.

The M word.

2010-02-26T22:23:00.008-05:00

It's official. James and myself have started to pool our money together with long-term goals in mind.

AKA - We've started a marriage savings account.

Well, that's what I'm calling it. I'm sure he'll have another name for it without the M word in it.

My big brother, who's a newlywed has this to say: "That's a big step. Man. You'll need to go ahead and stock that thing as much as you can." (In referring to the savings account).

Thanks, big bro.

So much to think about in the actual planning of a wedding. (Which, to be clear, is not yet happening.) But there have been discussions.

I know why planning a wedding makes people NUTS.

Big wedding..
Small wedding..
Church..
No church..
Beach..
No Beach..
Whom to walk me down aisle..
Color of my dress..
Color of bridesmaid dresses..
Style of my dress..
Type of flowers..
Invitation type..
Sit down dinner.. or buffet..
Hair up or down..
Location..

To elope or not?

Yes that non-stressful path is very much an option in my mind. The ONLY think keeping from that, is the constant regret I know I would live my whole life with.

I don't like the idea of everyone's eyes being on me for any given moment, but..

I do want to wear the big white dress.
I do want to dance with family and friends whom I never get to see.
I do want the tradition of it all.

I want to come up with little quirks.. find unique things. I want to pick the perfect date. I want to pick the perfect location. I want to do it the Jaimie way. I think If I hop a plane to Vegas, that won't happen.

I think the only thing I do know: where we want to honeymoon. Europe. Italy, France or Ireland. Just somewhere.. over there.

But we'll probably end up at a beach somewhere... sharing a Tecate.

Annnd, Action!

2010-02-24T00:27:00.003-05:00

Me. Jimmy. Mad About You. And testing the new Flip Cam. Oh joys.

Valentine's Day at Midnight

2010-02-18T12:14:00.002-05:00

Here's my Valentine's Day present that Jimmy hid.. in the bathroom. But when I found it, I was oh so excited! Then I immediately unpacked my little table top jewerly box and found out that I need more things to fill this beauty.

My mom said I need a ring to put in it.

Red Velvet Cupcakes

2010-02-11T20:48:00.005-05:00

Think I'm going to make a batch of Red Velvet Cupcakes for Valentine's Day.

MMmmm!

Prep time
15 min
total time
1 hr 10 min
makes
24 servings

What You Need:

1 pkg. (2-layer size) red velvet cake mix
1 pkg. (3.9 oz.) JELL-O Chocolate Instant Pudding
1 pkg. (8 oz.) Cream Cheese, softened
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened
1 pkg. (16 oz.) powdered sugar (about 4 cups)
1 cup thawed Cool Whip Whipped Topping
1 square White Chocolate, shaved into curls

PREPARE cake batter and bake as directed on package for 24 cupcakes, blending dry pudding mix into batter before spooning into prepared muffin cups. Cool.

MEANWHILE, beat cream cheese and butter in large bowl with mixer until well blended. Gradually beat in sugar. Whisk in COOL WHIP. Spoon 1-1/2 cups into small freezer-weight resealable plastic bag; seal bag. Cut small corner off bottom of bag. Insert tip of bag into top of each cupcake to pipe about 1 Tbsp. frosting into center of cupcake. FROST cupcakes with remaining frosting. Top with chocolate curls. Keep refrigerated.

Got this one from Kraft.com

V.

2010-02-11T20:13:00.003-05:00

I claim there ain't

Another Saint

As great as Valentine.

~Ogden Nash

Green Grass

2010-02-03T20:52:00.005-05:00

Too many people are thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, when they ought to just water the grass they are standing on.

~Amar Dave

No Sleep.

2010-01-30T02:00:00.007-05:00

Another night of restless tossing and turning.

It's 2am and here I am.

My body is exhausted after a long day of work, as well as my brain. I'm so tired, I can feel it my legs. And as I wait for my last-resort sleeping pill to kick in - a million things are running through my mind just as they have over the past few nights.

My mind goes to some pretty odd places as I lie in bed.

Here's just a few: (okay, a lot)

I should write a blog about all the places my mind is going. Right now.
I ate 2 1/2 pieces of pizza today. Other than that, my day was pretty nutritious.
I wonder if there will be snow on the ground when I wake up.
Those raindrops I heard are hard. I bet there's ice involved.
I wonder if Jimmy can tell I'm tossing and turning. All night. Everynight.
I'm sooooooo freeeeaking sleepy.
I miss my Nana.
I remember when we got the call in the middle of the night alerting us to her death.
Nothing good ever comes of a middle-of-the-night phone call.
I'm so over this fucking fight I'm having with friend. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Speaking of cuss words - an employee cussed on the air today. And we got lots of calls about it. I personally took a call from a man who gathered his childern around the TV to watch all the snow coverage. Wasn't expected the GD to fly out on local news. Yeah, us either, sir.
My head hurts.
I'm grinding my teeth again at night.
If I have to go to work with tired, burning eyes again, I'm going to kill myself.
The sound of the newsrooom phones... ringing.. ringing.. ringing..
One of my favorite Sirius XM radio show hosts really pissed me off tonight.
Why are there so many damn ladybugs sneaking in our apartment?
It's 2:00am. Why are there doors still slamming in the damn building?
Should I go in the other room to watch TV as I sleep so my mind doesn't race?
I wish I could just not care about shit sometimes. Worrying sucks.
I forgot to use Listerine after I brushed tonight.
I wonder if my car will get broken into tonight.
I feel guilty for being sleep deprieved when I don't even have a kid keeping me up.
I feel bad for being a butt to my mom on the phone today. I always feel bad AFTER the fact. But can never remember that during the conversation.
Two more days of work and then two days off.
Why the hell did I get into this business? I really deserve my full week at Edisto.
The pizza I ate was Pizza Hut. Secretly my favorite. Haven't had it in forever. I asked them (work) to get a cheese pizza. But ate the sausage/pepperoni. It just looked much more appealing.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get renters insurance.
I need to pay my mom the like $80 I owe her.
I'm glad I'm not single and living here. I would have a hard time finding people to go out with at my work. Especially on my schedule.
I just heard Jimmy cough. I bet he can hear me typing.
I want to go to bed, but I'm really scared of laying there and not being able to go to sleep.
The thought of that is making me cry.
Maybe tomorrow no caffeine after morning coffee.
My tivo box says it's 2:20. When I sat down it read "12:00." It was broken. Jimmy called about it. Think it's fixed now.
How freaking long does it take for a sleeping pill to kick in?
I wonder when I'll get my book I ordered about helping kick exhaustion, and detoxing your body.
I think I'm getting cramps.
Zits.
Wonder when the Proactiv I ordered will arrive.
Deep breath. Here I go toward the bed.

Keeping Up With Current Events

2010-01-27T21:32:00.006-05:00

-- "The worst of the storm has passed" for the economy, President Obama says in State of the Union address

Hazards

2010-01-26T19:03:00.014-05:00

Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it, because I want do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge for others.

~Amelia Earhart

Myself. Evolving.

2010-01-26T15:09:00.018-05:00

I'm working on a new me. A healthier me. Inside and out.

I'm not just going with the ole "I'm losing weight" or "I need to floss more" for this year's Resolution.

I realize it's nearly February. I've been busy. Get off my back.

I would like to get some of that holiday weight off, sure. And I am working on that.

But I also want to be better, happy with the people in my life. I want to be less mean. But more real. Less grumpy. I want everything not to piss me off. I don't want everything to get to me and most of all, I don't want to hold grudges. Unfortunately, generations of Italian and Slovak relatives make that impossible. That one is a long-term goal.

But in a perfect world, ya know..

I don't hate me, though. There are a lot of good characteristics about myself that I love. I'm a good friend. Maybe too good sometimes. (Others may disagree.) I get hurt in a lot of my friendships by holding others to the same friendship standards that I hold for myself. I sometimes feel like I would walk through fire for my friends, and when I don't always get that in return, I get a dose of reality. Life gets in the way, though. I'm realizing that. And all of my friends are in different stages of their lives than I. Single, seriously dating, flinging, newly co-habitating, married, kids, etc. Life happens. People drift. Things people once thought were the most important to them, aren't anymore. And that's okay.

I'm learning as life progresses, the meaning of life.. well, it changes. And it's that very notion, that I sometimes have a hard time dealing with.

Working on me is something that will take a long time. I expect no overnight, dramatic improvments.

I think watching CW's newest drama Life Unexpected isn't helping. Very emotional. So good.

Day by day.

A Proud Mama

2010-01-04T20:42:00.003-05:00

Okay.

I do not have children. I do not have pets. I have one plant.

Seldom do I feel like a proud mama.

But when I opened the doors of my little three bedroom apartment to these pair of gray, buckle suede pumps - I made a special place in my closet for these sweet darlings.

I cannot wait to wear these to work.

The only thing these gals need.. are a fresh round of bold brunette hair-dye. Unstoppable.

Oh, it's love.

Clean Slate

2009-12-31T13:14:00.006-05:00

A New Year.

If nothing else, 2009 tested our strength and built character. Thinking about it, I just exhale from exhaustion.

A New Year.

I need a clean slate. Don't we all? Start fresh and get-up-and-go. Some new found energy.

A New Year.

A new city, a new job and a new chapter in my now three year relationship with my buddy, my boyfriend.

A New Year.

This WILL be the year I get my finances in order, dammit.

A New Year.

Oh yeah, eating healthy and losing weight and all that jazz. I really need to get moving.

A New Year.

On a completely different note, I want to cook more. I want make more meals. On my days off that is what I shall do. Experimenting more in the kitchen.

A New Year.

I am completely excited and enthralled to see what my friend's beautiful children will do and how they will grow this year. I love being an auntie. And could we add to the family this year? Time will tell.

No not me, silly.

Missing Myrtle

2009-11-21T13:47:00.047-05:00

Since I'm leaving Myrtle Beach, again, I thought I'd pay homage to my homeland.

I think I'll do a "TOP TEN THINGS I'LL MISS THE MOST ABOUT THE MYRTLE" blog.

So here goes.

#10 The Weather.
Flip flops and tank tops. No snow (for the most part) and breezy beach weather. There's something to be said for living in the south and soaking up the sun. Even the winters are mild. Snow is a huge deal, because it rarely falls. Hurricanes - yes, scary. But the good definitely outweighs the bad when it comes to our forecast.

#9 The Ease of Travel.
It's very easy to get around in Myrtle Beach. No big city stress of interstates. The only headache is traffic, but there are shortcuts. It was so nice.

#8 No blue laws!
Oh yes, something I'm hating on Sundays, being I live in Greenville County, and not in the city limits. I should be able to buy wine whenever, and wherever I want. Period. This is a God given right. This is the downside of living in deep bible-belt country. In MB - we could walk to get alcohol, and now, it's a little bit of a drive. Boo to Blue Laws! And for that matter, things opening late and closing early on Sunday - double boo!

#7 The People.
Myrtle Beach is a good melting pot of people. Retired folks, northern folks who've migrated south, southern folks, tourists from all over the country and the world. You name it. I've run into some pretty interesting folks along the way.

#6 Myrtle Square Mall.
It was THEE place to be. My favorite thing at the mall was the gi-NORMOUS overhead clock that was - in my eyes - a work of art. It was just so cool. Over the years, that iconic mall turned desolate, the tumbleweed rolled through and it was eventually leveled. Why? So they could build a much bigger, newer mall right down the road, much to my dismay. The flattened piece of land is still vacant.

#5. The South End.
It's not Myrtle Beach technically, but it's still part of my home. So with that said, I will miss the sleepy Murrells Inlet-Surfside-Garden City-Pawleys Island-Litchfield area. When you drive to the south end of the Grand Strand, there a peaceful beachy feeeling that takes you over. It's a 10-15 minute drive away from home and a a low key night out, if nothing else. The food tastes better there, and the air is saltier. Just relaxing place to be and the further south you drive, the better.

#4 WPDE.
When I was in high school, I remember being called to SHS auditorum to hear Chief Meteorologist Ed Piotrowski talk to us about the work he does as a forecaster, and weather in general. I also still have a TV 15 book club certificate stashed away somewhere. Then it was several years later when they offered me my first job in broadcasting, out of college. And I spent six years of my life working at that station. Working there has made me a better person, a decent producer and certainly given me strong work ethic. I have met some amazing people at that station, whom I'll never forget.

#3 The Pavilion.

Remember I grew up when the Pavilion was prime. It was our hangout, and it was where we spent our allowance. Tickets used to be like $0.50 and you were lucky when you had time, and could garner enough cash from mom and dad for an ALL DAY WRISTBAND. Unfortunately, time has gotten the best of the Pavilion. It's closed and is nothing but a flatten plot of land. In it's last years was not what it used to be. But I was very lucky to be able to attend "The Last Ride," it's final day of operations.

#2. The Ocean.
There's nothing like it.
The waves crashing, the ocean air... and the way the sand feels on the bottom of your feet. There is nothing like it. I never have take for granted living a few miles from the ocean. Winter or summer, I made my way there. Whether it was to clear my head or to just take a few deep breaths. It's possibly the best place in the world. I alway loved finding the little beach access points that were not tourist hot spots. It can be done.

#1. My Family.
When I was three and living in Youngstown, OH, my mother and my father divorced. It was then, my mother and her brave soul, put me and by big brother Gary, in the back of her car, and drove us to our new home, Myrtle Beach. My mom loved to take us to the beach on the weekends, and like every other day during summer break. Myrtle Beach looked very different back then. You could sit on the beach, look behind you and see only a few hotels and beach shacks. It's the old time Myrtle Beach that I remember. The beach, a few restaurants.. of course the Pavilion, and not much else. This place, even though it's become pretty much tourist trap, still has some charm to it. And it's my home. It feels like home. My family has built a foundation here. And even thought only half my family is here, the other half visits a lot. Which I love. I will miss my family. But I get to come "home" and my family will still be here.

Going Green

2009-11-08T14:53:00.003-05:00

I need to mark this occasion. I'm moving back to the upstate. Although, we can all agree - Greenwood is not Greenville (see above for confirmation).

We've got a cute little three bedroom apartment on the outskirts of the city - each one has a walk-in closet. We have a balcony, with more storage!

Can you tell I'm excited about extra space?

Okay, really - it's a big change. No more beach, but now mountains are a glance away. It's a trade-off, I believe.

A career advance comes along with the move.

It's all so exciting, but scary.

I've packed the living room and the kitchen in one day.

Fall falls upon us

2009-10-02T20:22:00.014-04:00

There's something about the cool air and warm cider. (Sound like a post card? )

Jeans, turtlenecks and scarves. (Maybe a poem?)

The smell of when the heat kicks on for the first time in months. (Unless it catches fire.)

The leaves changing colors. (Sure makes long car rides more bearable.)

Halloween brings the fright, and the goobers get their candy. (Baby costume aisle is the best.)

Now for some new boots. Black, maybe brown. Flats this year.

I still can't find the perfect pair of jeans.

It's the time of year - before things get too cold, too dark, too miserable.

It's fall.

My favorite season.

But beware: winter looms.

Get ready for the staticky hair, and clingy clothes.

Get ready for the Christmas commercials months too early. (Like the snowman who melts.. "The weather outside is frightful"... and the Hershey kisses doubling as chimes.)

Get ready for frost on your windsheild.

And the grass to hide it's green.

The hot cocoa aisle loses stock in a snap.

Turkey, oh the turkey.

Make a list, check it twice.

Sales here, discounts there.

Candy canes come out of the woodwork.

Wrapping paper, ribbon, tape and bows.

The day after Christmas is always so depressing. (Was as a kid, and still is.)

All that's left is New Years.

Another year gone, another to come.

Time flies when you're at work writing a blog about fall.

Eight Years Ago

2009-09-11T12:07:00.017-04:00

It was eight years ago, today, when I was attending classes at Lander University. I was sitting in a women's literature class. My professer was very stern, very down-to-business. Anyone who took her classes, knew she was tough. I got a C in that class, and was happy with it.

On that day, September 11, 2001 - I was sitting there. Class had just started.

We were learning about some feminist poet when my teacher heard some commotion. She looked down over the banister a few stories, down to the atrium in that building.

There was a big group of people surround the TV down there.

Finally, she caught wind of what was going on. A look of fear, horror came over her face. Just like that - she blew off class. What the hell was going on? Did she really just cancel class? This must be major.

It was.

On the way into class, I remember listening to the radio. A normally-chipper morning radio host seemed saddened - the mood was melodramatic. She spoke of a plane crash. That's all I could remember. I was so concentrated on not getting there after this woman closed the door.

After she dismissed class, I didn't go down to the atrium. But, I did hear someone talk about what had happened. I want wanted to go home to see it for myself.

As I was in the campus parking lot making my way to the car, I recall this idiot of a girl making fun of the whole situation. Saying things like "Oh look out - a plane is going to fall on us!" And then laughed in a very evil, fucked-up tone. She actually ended up being a sorority sister of mine. Never a big fan. I just now removed her from my Facebook friends because thinking about her doing that, made me sick to my stomach all over again. Granted, she probably didn't realize the magnitude of the situation at that given moment. But still - no longer friends.

I clearly don't hold grudges.

I got home and my roommate was already on the couch just engulfed in the coverage. She was crying and I called my mom. She was crying.

It all unfolded before us.

The people running from the tsunami of debris, the sut.. the people holding up signs of their loved ones - hoping, praying for a miracle. Those images will be etched in my head forever.

It was was bigger than Pearl Harbor in terms of people killed. And until someone said it in those words, I couldn't consume just how many good-blooded Americans were lost.

It's the biggest tragedy I will probably live through.

At least, I hope.

Big City Gal?

2009-09-06T01:53:00.010-04:00

I'm wondering where I should go.

I'm feeling adventurous and I think I'm ready to try something new.

Here's where I've been so far:
Born: Youngstown, OH

Lived there until I was about three. Don't remember much of it. Couldn't get around if I tried.

Raised: Myrtle Beach, SC

Lived here since.

College: Greenwood, SC

Went real far, didn't I?

So maybe that's why I feel the need to get out of the 843/864 area codes.

It's all I've known.

So what's next? Where should I go? Am I destined for a big city? The beach? Or some place with a big-city feel that isn't that huge.

Oh the options.

Coffee and pastries with cool weather. That's what I want.

So maybe Paris? :)

When the head hits the pillow

2009-09-04T22:14:00.016-04:00

I'm not sure how it's done: Two people living together with opposite schedules.

I wake up beat, my eyes are blood shot and I float throughout the day feeling just oh-so-tired.

Here's what is happening:

Jimmy has a semi-normal work schedule. He usually wakes up around 8 or so. Gets off at 6, 7 or so.

Me? I work at 2pm and get off at midnight. I don't fall asleep until well after 1, sometimes 2am.

In the morning: Jimmy's eye's will open around 7am - no matter what. (This is why he stocks up on sleeping pills when we're on vacation.)

This is my prime sleeping time. Deep, deep sleeping. Probably when you'll catch me snoring.

Zzzzz...

Have you ever heard the sound of a blackberry trackball cut through silence? I have.

It's what I hear most mornings well before I'm ready to get up. He's checking e-mails, texts, getting caught up on the overnight headlines and what his assignments are for the day.

Then he gets up, pees (etc.), showers, dresses. In comes the strong smell of cologne, and the sound of lotion going on. It's normal in-the-morning stuff that I would probably be doing as well.

But I'm a light sleeper. So when I fall back asleep - which is not easy for me to do - and start falling back to sleepy-sleep land, the smallest sound wakes me back up. It's just so... ahhh! I literally wake up pissed off.

I treasure my sleep and need a lot of it.

It's not like he's doing anything wrong, so I can't get mad at him... this time.

So I'm currently looking for a solution to this problem.

How do people handle this? Do I need to get back in the habit of taking my melatonin like I did when I worked the overnight shift? Will that make me sleep in too late? Do I need to consider sleeping in another room? That seems extreme.

But maybe I'll try getting to bed earlier?

We'll give that a go.

The big 2-8

2009-07-23T10:43:00.011-04:00

I'm 28 now. It's a big number. So big, that everyone likes to just round up to 30. But it really doesn't bother me. Many people say.. "You're just a baby" or I get the "You're so old! You're pushing 30!"

Either way I get to hear from lots of people I don't normally talk to and it's nice.

I worked on my birthday - which I haven't done in a really long time. I always take my birthday off. Always. I didn't this year because I took a vacation the week prior and didn't want to ask for another day off. I find it depressing to have be sitting at my desk. However, this year, I switched shifts, so the the change up helped things be not so depressing. I also got some fun treats at work - inlcuding a loaf of blueberry banana bread, a whole dish of yellow cupcakes with chocolate icing (which I think is my new favorite cake combination), some cards, and a lotion-bath gel set.

It actually made for a very good day.

It wasn't until the last few minutes at work someone successfully put me in a bad mood and I cried. I actually cried in my car leaving work. Good going, reporter who pissed me off ON my birthday. Hope you slept well.

After that, a cheery talk to mom on the way home helped.

Then I got home.

Jimmy was on the couch watching soccer with no dinner being prepared. I then realized birthdays aren't what they used to be as you get older - especially when you blow your bank on said vacation and have none left to spend on your loving girlfriend until next glorious paycheck arrives. I ended up driving us to Arby's - I wanted to "eat out." We sat in front of the TV and watched Mad Men season one, disc one while sharing curly fries and beef and cheddar. That part was actually fun. And I'm not just saying that in the off-chance James Walter Moore, Jr. reads this post.

Red wine... roast beef... 28.

Last week - it's a wrap.

2009-06-30T11:15:00.010-04:00

Last week - it was a traumatizing one.

First - the news of Jon & Kate divorcing. I know compared to some of the other things that happened later in the week, it seems like a comedy... but I'm still affected.
The death of Ed McMahon was just the beginning.
Then Farrah Fawcett. I watched The View just hours before she died. On the show Barbara Walters said she was in her final hours. That prepared me a little more.

Then the big one - Michael Jackson's death.

We were waiting for that "3rd" one - celebrity deaths always happens in threes. But damn, wasn't expecting death when the news broke that he had been rushed to the hospital. Thanks to TMZ.com for breaking that one. Who knew?

The news broke everywhere that he died during our 6pm newscast. I was in the newsroom scrambling to get the story together for the lead of our 7pm newscast.

But here's the moment I realized it was more than just work, more thank just news: Our Florence reporter, Tonya, called my extention moments after we sent out our breaking news text alert. With a raspy, cracked voice - she said, "Jaimie, is it true? Is Michael Jackson dead?" I said, "Yes, Tonya, it is true." She started crying. She was crying so hard, she had to hang up. There in the midst of a busy newsroom, it hit me just how big and global this was. I started shaking and everything that had happened - from the whole week - finally caught up with me.

Legends were lost. It was quite a week.

Bacon Pants: Two Worlds Collide

2009-06-17T20:15:00.008-04:00

I like to dry my pants over the chairs in the dining room so they won't shrink. I do this all the time. No dryer for my pants. The other day, I went downstairs grabbed my pants for work and went about getting ready. Finished getting dressed, watched some Food Network, did my hair, did my make-up - off to work!

I'm in my car - it's small, very compact - all of a sudden I smell, what I think is the aftermath of stagnant fried up something in the house. I'm like crap. My sweater has been soaking up the smells from our stove. I can take it off later. I get to work, and I swear this smell gets worse. What the F! I'm smelling my sweater to find the source. No burned pan meat smell. Then I figure it out - it's my pants.

I called my lovely carnivore boyfriend, and said, "Did you cook something last night? In the house? My pants smell. "

Jimmy: Bacon.
Me: My pants smell like bacon. I'm getting sick from it.
Jimmy: Don't be mean.
Me: Sorry, but my pants smell like bacon, and I'm stuck in these pants for the rest of the night at work.

I grab lotion and spray.. and try to prevent my deskmate, Tim, from smelling the deep-fried aroma coming from my desk. It wasn't the good bacon-in-the-morning smell either. It was the maybe-we-should-have-cleaned-the-pan-before-making-this-last-batch, bacon.

I guess the fried meat smell comes with living with a boy who loves -- well fried meats. The price you pay for L-O-V-E.

Now I'm a complainer.

2009-06-08T10:51:00.000-04:00

I've become a complainer. Always something to bitch about at work. Always. Someone's not doing enough, another person is too doing too much to cover up for someone's frickin' laziness, and no one seems to care.

Somone gets laid off - more work for me.
Someone calls in sick - god ***mit. Are they really sick or taking this opportunity to call in because the boss lady happens to be on vacation?
Someone cashes in on their fucking eight weeks of vacation -Maybe we should of thought of this before we laid off half the staff. Who's gonna pick up the slack? It's not rocket science.
Someone is bitching about having to help somone else out - For the love of Pete. Do it. Shut up.

My stress level at work is at about 200%. That's compared to a year ago when it was 95%... when we had a staff of double what it is now. There weren't so many things that YOU were repsonsible for. The workload was split up. There are so many things to remember now.

Check the faxes.
Check the voicemail.
Find news/do the show. (The majority of the work)
Double and triple check your show.
Do your reports.
Make sure you mention the website enough - then document it.
Do the stories for the website. Wait around for someone to check the copy. Post the web stories on a frickin 1998 web style system that takes forever. It's guaranteed that you will be at work another 30 minutes if there are a lot of new stories to post.
Check the fax machine again.
Check newsroom email account.
Check wires.
Check national/regional feed.
Blink - you're getting another damn headache.
Get up and walk around. You're body hurts from the non-stop sitting and typing.
Drink some water.
Start over.
It's exhausting.

I've learned you HAVE to complain. You have to. There are higher expectations now of the ones that are left. You have to step up your game. And if you don't... I will fucking cuss outloud about it - at least when HR isn't around.

This dwindling economy is no doubt taking a toll on our mental and physical health. Stress levels are high and tempers, boy do they flare.

When it comes down to it, I'm very grateful to have a job. I sometimes hate myself for bitching under my breath, to others. So many people don't have work right now and would take any sort of a job. And I know mine could go - poof - like that.

So - bitch as I may, I know I'm very lucky. I have a income that helps me to pay my bills.

But GOD. There better not be any bullshit at work today.

By the way - my first eye exam is in the near future. The headaches at work are becoming more consistent.

Golden Moments

2009-06-01T00:14:00.000-04:00

The Golden Girls.

They were so comical, so witty, so... hungry.

They were always eating cheesecake or some sort of dessert around the kitchen table. I always want coffee and cake when I watch this show. But more importantly, they all the time in the world to sit around and do just that - eat cake.

Is that what retirement is? Wouldn't that be just delightful!? Only like 80 more years to go - who retires at 65 anymore?

I think I will be one of those old ladies who gardens. With all the accessories.. including the little stool and cute flowered gloves and of course a sun hat. Then morning coffee in the 'sunroom' while I look at my progress and talk about what I want to do next. Is it sad? I can't tell.

Ahh, Golden moments.

What did you eat today?

2009-05-26T00:41:00.001-04:00

On random nights, before we fell asleep, I used to ask one of my college roommates Amy everything she ate that particular day. She played along from the top bunk (God bless her) and listed off what she ate. Then I would go.

At that time, I think I was reading Cosmopolitan magazine (or something similar) and had come across an article on 'Tips for Losing Weight.' Keeping a journal of your daily eats was a 'tip.' It was supposed to show just how much extra snacking you were doing, etc. And wasn't that everyone's goal in college? To be ultra skinny? I fit in things then that I still have - but can't believe I once got into. Back then I felt fat, huge. Never satisfied, I suppose.

Listing it out loud, I felt like a freakin' piggie.

I still try to think about it at the end of each day. Did I do good or bad?

Here's what I ate/drank today:

Breakfast:

A piece of peanut butter (reduced fat/all-nautural) and jelly (sugar free) whole wheat toast.

Lunch:

Grilled chicken wrap from Sonic with light ranch.

Drinks:

Coffee

2 Diet Sunkists (Bought one, two came out!)

Water

Snacks:

Walnuts and Raisins

Light string cheese

Dinner:

Brown rice with peas (on a budget this week - and already spent $ on lunch)

Dessert/After dinner snack:

Low carb vanilla yogurt with oatmeal, almonds, and ground flax seed.

Late, late night snack:

One small slice of pork tenderloin

One piece of whole wheat toast with whipped cream cheese.

Not bad. You can tell I got hungy when I got home from work half past midnight, though.

Clearly, I'm trying to eat healthy. Otherwise this list would have on it "piece of giant cookie" - which was sitting on my counter when I got home taunting me. I didn't eat it! That was a huge test.. and I passed. Not cool, though. We can't have that stuff just laying around. It's dangerous.

Definitely trying to detox a bit after the Memorial Day crap I ate over the weekend.

So that's it Amy, we can go to sleep now.

Justine.

2009-05-24T12:37:00.000-04:00

There once was a lady named Justine. Justine lived in Myrtle Beach and was a big fan of NewsChannel 15. She liked to come by on Thursdays to sit back in the weather center during the 6pm and 7pm shows to just watch Ed do weather.

She was sort of a lonely woman. She was in her late 60's, I believe. She had kids, but was estranged from, what I'm told, three out of four of them. The daughter she did speak with just had a baby - Justine was very excited about this. Justine didn't have family in the Myrtle Beach; I believe she was from the Boston area. She liked to visit our station to talk and ask everyone how they were. She always brought by cookies. The kind from Food Lion with the icing on top. She had really strong perfume. It nauseated some folks in the building. But, I'm sure my Nana had the same kind, so when others were putting up a big fuss I was taking some kind of comfort in the strong grandmotherly smell.

We found out last week that Justine passed away in her sleep. The coroner said natural causes. She had several routines - like coming to the station. Then on Friday nights she would go dancing with a big group of people. One of those people called the station late Friday night trying to figure out where she was.. she didn't show up for dancing. I asked my assistant news director to explain to this person what happened - I didn't have it in me to do it. This woman, it seemed like was outside of the nightclub waiting on her friend, Justine.

Justine was a nice part of the NewsChannel 15 family. She'll be remembered for the perfume she wore - we knew she was in the building before she came to say hello. But she just wanted to have someone to visit. I can sit here and try to figure out why she was estranged from the majority of her children, but when it comes down it - she was a nice lady who meant well. And I appreciate that and never really got to tell her.

Her grandbaby will never have that chance to recall memories of her - when scents of her childhood fill the room.

Does this make me a Trekkie?

2009-05-17T23:33:00.000-04:00

Ahhh - dicted. I cannot stop talking about this movie. I've found myself Googling images of old characters to see how the new guys match them and Netflixing all things Star Trek.

Wasn't expected this at all. Very few movies get me inspired like this.

The first five minutes of the movie, they clearly tried their hardest to hook in the 'on-the-fence devoted wives/girlfriends' who weren't expecting much. And boy did they. Before the words Star Trek went up - I was in tears. That's right.. crying during Star Trek. Doesn't mean I'm going to get Star Trek checks or anything, but I really want to see the movies now.

A few words about the main character of this movie - Chris Pine - who plays Capt. James T. Kirk in this flick: He's sooo the new Brad Pitt. You know.. before Angelina and dozens of kids. Just charming. He is to me, what that Twilight guy is to all the 'tweens' (and a few nameless grown friends of mine.)

And Spok. He's so mysterious. I want him to crack a smile. Does he ever smile? He's half human.. he HAS to at one point. C'mon Spok -- lose it, just once.

If I had a kid, I would so be getting Spok ears/wig for Halloween. Maybe I still will.

In conclusion: Star Trek. What have I been missing?

Our Square Inch

2009-05-16T15:28:00.000-04:00

This is what I call our little 'square inch.' It's our two-story townhouse. I love it. We've been living here since January.

It's very narrow.. and in some places you have to bend your body accordingly to get around.

But it's ours. This is our home. It's our first home together and it works out well for entertaining, even though there's a serious lack of places to sit in the living area. And we have hard wood floors, so the normal floor-sitters can't even pop a squat in a comfortable manner. So it works better if we have people over for food.. that way everyone can gather 'round the island in the kitchen and eat, drink and be merry.

It's something that we stumbled on. I've never noticed these before. It actually looks like something that doesn't belong in Myrtle Beach - but Virigina, DC, or Connecticut as I imagine it.

-The Kitchen-

This is our kitchen. Lots of cabinet space and stainless steel appliances. Just delightful! We love to cook at home. This place just screams a nice decadent meal with a lot of wine. Cheese -- some sort of cheese plate to get us started.

- The Dinning Room -

Here's our dinning room. The only time we've ever used it is when I had my family over for dinner. There were so many of us.. we spilled over into the area. It's right when when you walk in.. and away from the action (TV) so we rarely eat there.

- The Living Room -

This is where we spend the majority of our time when we both manage to off time together. It's very small and when our landlord showed it to us, I said "THIS is the living area?" We actually had to get rid of our recycliner. It's probably a good thing - it was passed down to me and made out of, what looked like cordoroy.

- The Courtyard -

This is our courtyard. It's the area between the garage (the door you see there takes you to the garage) and the back door that comes off the side of the living room. That black thing you see there is our smoker! Jimmy's pride and joy. This area is also good for our nicotine-loving friends.

So that's the tour. Downstairs, anyways. Upstairs it's just two awkwardly shaped bedrooms. Not as exciting. The sun shines so damn bright in our bedroom. When I forget to put the eye mask on, I regret it.

Our neighbors are fun to watch. A lot of "stay at home moms..." that drive Cadillacs and dress their children like dolls. Very similar to Wisteria Lane. They talk about getting together 'some time' and have blonde hair and oh I wish I could tivo it. We so don't belong over there. We spent Valentine's Day at Cici's pizza. I mean, c'mon!

Typing Thoughts Here

2009-05-15T03:48:00.000-04:00

I hate really long e-mails and the same goes for blogs. That is, unless it warrants. Which sometimes.. it will.

Why blog you ask? I'll tell you why. My Facebook friends may get sick of the constant status updates I feel like sending, but actually write and erase. And I need a place I can be random, witty, dark, curious - and start sentences with "And."

And, I type all day. I type things IN ALL CAPS.. LIKE THIS - SUITABLE FOR A TELEPROMTER.

It's always news copy.. it's always critsized and changed by someone. I need some 'me' typing time.

Wow. Now I don't know what to write. :-/ Blog fright, I suppose.

I'm hoping along the way something of interest will happen that I can include.

If not, that's okay. Isn't Seinfeld based on a show about 'nothing'? Nine seasons that show pushed through. Giddy up.

Would you look at that? My first blog is almost long.

Nix that opener sentence. Long is blogs, right?

(Pictured at top: Me and James Walter Moore, Jr. - my beloved boyfriend. Many call him Jimmy.. many call him other things. He looks drunk. Don't think he is. It's rare to come across a picture where we both look good - together - at that moment.)

PS) Craving pineapple. Doesn't that sound good?